Desperately want to come out to openly gay friend without making it seem like Im coming onto him and making it weird.

Desperately want to come out to openly gay friend without making it seem like I’m coming onto him and making it weird.

  1. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    frame it as a way to ask for advice on how to come out to others who might not be as accepting as another gay person

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe...our mutual friend group is perfectly accepting of him/thinks nothing of it.

      The fact of the matter is I DO like him I’d just rather these be separate convos

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        come out to some or all of your friend group, in person. your choice if hes there or not, but imo, it goes better if this includes him. that way you can pivot into a 1 on 1 with him if you feel its going to work. im happy for you, anon! good luck getting your boytoy! <3

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          Thanks anon 🙂

          I hope to say something soon. I've want the flow of conversation to get to a somewhat related topic before I pull the pin on this. Maybe just speaking of relationships in general

          I don't think anyone else would be surprised either but that type of thing probably isn't on their mind anyway. He's the only one I think would even entertain the thought.

  2. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Just say hey, can I talk to you, I'm gay too
    Then add a detail if relevent, like you just accepted it recently or something

    I swear this board needs a "how to conversate 101"

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      do you have more tips?

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        Idk. My friend came out and a couple months later I talked to him and eventually just said, "hey, I think I'm gay too", and he was curious and prodded a bit and we talked from there. It wasn't planned, we just talked, it was dynamic. Why do you think he would think he would think you're coming onto him?

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          not op sorry just went through a turbulent coming out so was curious

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            Oh ok np, feel free to ask away though I don't mind, I actually did end up getting together with my friend I came out too though...

            • 5 days ago
              Anonymous

              lucky, I waited to long and he got married

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                Unfortunate 🙁

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          I don’t think he’d be shocked exactly, surely he has some sort of suspicion. But recently he had said something that basically seemed like he was sure I was straight. So that kind of prompted me now. I’ve known him for a long while

  3. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    If he's gay and not a weirdo he'll probably be pretty supportive and nice about it. He's not going to immediately attempt to bend you over and go to town. I'm sure he had a time where he wanted to tell someone, it happens with everyone who finds out they're gay or trans. Just say you wanted to tell someone you knew you could talk to about it.

  4. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    The most natural way is to talk about something that makes it obvious you're gay, like mention your bf/ex bf/crush, that you went to pride/have plans for pride, etc.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      I certainly have “dropped gay breadcrumbs” in the past. Things like passing comments on complimenting a guy. Or been kind of tongue-in-cheek flirty, but perhaps came off under some irony

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        that's a hard one if you've got a group of straight friends that like to make jokes about gay stuff

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          Well the guy in question would be guilty of it too. But I worry his immediate thought would be “oh shit he wasn’t joking”

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            yeah thats a predicament alright. idk about other people but after coming out its only been weird so maybe they've come to terms with rolling with the punches? all up to individual discretion of course you know the guy personally I don't

  5. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe start out by saying you are telling him because you feel comfortable/like he will understand.

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