>Meltzer, who only the most autistic retarded people of the wrestling community has even heard of >on the most popular normalfag liberal news show in America
what fucking timeline are we living in ?
Dude he has been on CNN before lol, talking about Hogan and I think Benoit. Autist or not he is the most famous and recognized in wrestling journalism so he is the go to for these things.
>talking Vince McMahon
What, is he going to use Vodoo magic to get a Vince McMahon bobble head to talk or something? I think this old homosexual has lost his marbles
They just want to talk to someone knowledgeable about Vince and the business. Like any time they bring in an "expert" who may not be involved but is educated on the subject.
While he's completely wrong about 99% of the shit he reports, for whatever reason normal homosexuals on reddit think he's 'a journalist' so cnn see him as 'an expert'
it's a bit like bringing on a 16 year old fangirl who writes harry potter fiction where she gets raped by the centaurs. it's shit but it's the best you got at such late notice because the odds are, the retarded kid, like meltzer will do it for free and isn't occupied with things like a life
Of the three major networks, CNN is the most likely one to interview random people that really don't add much to a story.
MSNBC would host a panel discussion of their own talking heads, and Fox would be on an ad break for catheters and reverse mortgages.
You know what the really ironic thing is, nobody is gonna ask Meltzer the most valuable question: Why didn't you come forward with this? Because Meltzer prides himself on having ALL the inside knowledge, he is definitely going to talk like he knew about this too, but I doubt anybody will push that button.
Boy I sure can't wait for dave to uh-uhm-uh-er-uhm his way through that interview >wel uhh... you know uhh, like uhhh, you know, it is what it is so uhhh, it's either that or uhhhh [clears throat loudly] uhhh you know? so yeah, yeah, that's what it is
>trying to get details on the case >interview meltzer >instantly gets side tracked talking about the biggest star of South African wrestling in the 50s
should be kino
>Wolf Blitzer: so what does this mean for the WWE? >Meltz: "well...um...here the thing.(smacks limps) umm... (long pause) but...i know that hes smarter than that to not use company but weirder things have happened..umm we just have to wait until um we hear um from the board and um what they find. Again it can go either way. Umm. Not sure how this will affect the Saudi deal Brian but we just um need to wait and see.
>A source close to Vince McMahon said it was a possibility but that it also wasn't. Historically this has always been a possibility except when it wasn't.
>H-hey Dave. I heard you're gonna be on CNN talking Vince. Listen, I was wondering if you could do your boy a favor and name drop myself and aew on the show. We REALLY need all the help we can get to boost up the ratings. Let them know we're profitable too all because of cm punk. Thanks, b-brother.
>CNN: Thank you for joining us Mr. Dave Meltzer, before we get in-- >Meltzer: Thanks for having me. >CNN: ...Before we get into Vince McMahon stepping down from his positin as Chairman of WWE, let's get into how Vince McMahon's wife was a former cabinet member of Donald Trump. Was Vince a vocal supporter of Donald Trump? >Meltzer: Well, hey, y'know, Vince has always, y'know... ALWAYS liked Donald Trump. They've always ummmm worked t-t-tuhhh together including at Wrestlemania, WWE's largest show of the year. >CNN: Yes, he actually made Donald Trump the star at his Wrestlemania. Trump has even said of Vince-- >Meltzer: 'kay, 'kay hold on a minute ummmmmm like it's it's soooo.... y'know ummmmm like it's real friendship. They like each other a whole bunch.
And with us is Dave Meltzer from the Wrestling Observer, Dave what's going on with WWE? > well, you know, *cough*, it's like this, the thing is that, with all the you know, um, of course Jerry McDevitt is McMahon's attorney, so you know, the . . . yeah
CNN talking head 'asplodes > we all win
I haven't watched CNN in over a decade, I always new it was going to be something wrestling related that drew me back in. I always thought it would Hogan or Vinces actual death.
> implying american news channels actually broadcast news
Most of their programming is "yell at you" TV. > one guest from side A, 4 guests from side B > they yell at each other
>interviewing some blurred out guy describing the war in ukraine
this is fucking gay. what happened to cnn embedding reporters with troops on the front line.
I rushed to go to the toilet and get a beer before this started and now I'm sitting here watching Biden stumble through some bullshit. Where's Dave stumbling through some bullshit?
setting for the ad was a beardo dude hiding in the shadows telling a woman to buy gold without legally saying so but it was empty and filled with pillars.
>"STEPHANIE... I know I told you that you were going to take over as interim Chairman and CEO. But there's more to it than that pal. Ya see, I worked, sweat, and bled hard to get to where I am today and where this business is today. You think I'm just going to hand everything over to you? That's good shit!! you in the back... heh... come on out" >*Shane McMahon's music starts playing* >*crowd pops insanely loudly* >Shane and Steph have an angry face-off in the middle of the ring while Vince smirks and laughs evily in the background >Vince takes off his suit to reveal a ref outfit underneath >"Okay ring the bel-" >*TIME TO PLAY THE GAMEEEEEEE, MUAHAHAHA* >Holy shit it's actually Trips in gear >crowd collectively spontaneously combusts, the camera is literally vibrating >Steph and Shane absolutely in shambles, disbelief, facial expressions running the entire gamut, crazy eyes, crying, what is this insanity, crowd is still shitting their pants with excitement >Hunter goes giant-shnoz to smaller-shnoz to every single person in the ring individually, if looks could kill they'd be dead and buried already >"Not so fast Vince... why do you think I hired that intern, introduced her to you, and then leaked this story in the first place..." >High-pitched "ahhh oh my god!!" from Lawler on commentary >crowd goes even more insane >HHH smirks >"ok, now it's really time to ring the bel-" >*Linda McMahon's music hits* >crowd goes nuclear, Steph/HHH/Shane/Vince all go nuclear rolling around in the ring in absolute conniptions, unsure what the fuck happened to cause this tear in the time/space continuum reality spectrum >"not so fast Vince, ol' hubby ol "pal"... I thought it might be helpful to give you a little teaser for where you're going to be living for the next 10 years after the investigation concludes..." >camera pans to the arena ceiling revealing a giant cage >it slowly lowers as Vince is in tears and Trips, Steph, and Shane still don't know wtf is going on
>it reaches the bottom, and Linda lifts the blanket covering the cage so she can open the door >inside the cage is >donald >fucking >trump >crowd pops so loud everyone's ears literally start bleeding and you can't even hear the commentators despite them being piped in in production overtop the crowd in an entirely separate audio channel >the camera is literally shaking now you can barely make out what's going on >Vince in the background suddenly instantly stopped crying? reveals a bottle of "fake tears" he was using to make himself cry and starts laughing maniacally >Donald rips the mic out of Linda's hands >looks straight into the camera >crowd goes silent to cherish every word the President we all miss dearly says >he says the camera, he says >he says >"Hillary and Joe, this is your unavoidable fate when I become your President for a 3rd time in 2024" >He grabs her by the pussy and throws her unceremoniously into the cage and stomps a mudhole dry on her as the crowd chants "USA! USA! USA!" and waves giant beautiful American flags >he slams the cage shut >pronoun and alphabet people everywhere immediately commit suicide, instantly making the world a better place >CNN anchors all hang themselves on camera >"send her up Vince" >Vince, still laughing, presses the "send the cage up" button >as Linda weeps in the cage, HHH, Shane, and Steph all stand mouths agape, Vince looks at Donald with his evil smirk, Donald rips off his suit jacket to reveal a ref outfit underneath >"let's make WWF great again, Vince... that's right, I said WWF, not WWE" >WWE logo on screen suddenly changes to the WWF logo >"ya see not only am I tag-reffing with Vince folks, I also talked with my Justices Kavanaugh, ACB, and Gorusch... and they assured me that if the World Wildlife Foundation makes ANY fuss about this... they'll rule in Vince's favor. Now ring that fucking bell" >as the bell rings and the match begins, the crowd, in pure ecstasy yells >"WHAT"
>it reaches the bottom, and Linda lifts the blanket covering the cage so she can open the door >inside the cage is >donald >fucking >trump >crowd pops so loud everyone's ears literally start bleeding and you can't even hear the commentators despite them being piped in in production overtop the crowd in an entirely separate audio channel >the camera is literally shaking now you can barely make out what's going on >Vince in the background suddenly instantly stopped crying? reveals a bottle of "fake tears" he was using to make himself cry and starts laughing maniacally >Donald rips the mic out of Linda's hands >looks straight into the camera >crowd goes silent to cherish every word the President we all miss dearly says >he says the camera, he says >he says >"Hillary and Joe, this is your unavoidable fate when I become your President for a 3rd time in 2024" >He grabs her by the pussy and throws her unceremoniously into the cage and stomps a mudhole dry on her as the crowd chants "USA! USA! USA!" and waves giant beautiful American flags >he slams the cage shut >pronoun and alphabet people everywhere immediately commit suicide, instantly making the world a better place >CNN anchors all hang themselves on camera >"send her up Vince" >Vince, still laughing, presses the "send the cage up" button >as Linda weeps in the cage, HHH, Shane, and Steph all stand mouths agape, Vince looks at Donald with his evil smirk, Donald rips off his suit jacket to reveal a ref outfit underneath >"let's make WWF great again, Vince... that's right, I said WWF, not WWE" >WWE logo on screen suddenly changes to the WWF logo >"ya see not only am I tag-reffing with Vince folks, I also talked with my Justices Kavanaugh, ACB, and Gorusch... and they assured me that if the World Wildlife Foundation makes ANY fuss about this... they'll rule in Vince's favor. Now ring that fucking bell" >as the bell rings and the match begins, the crowd, in pure ecstasy yells >"WHAT"
how mad would Dave be lol
damn you wasted so much fucking time writing this lol i didnt read a word of it
we had like 20 thousand retards honking truck horns in front of parliament for like a month straight up in leaf land this year and even our media which never lets anything go stopped milking the story immediately after it ended, why do americans still care about the january 6 thing
>economy tailspinning into chaos >$6.00 gas >food shortages >housing market imploding >record illegal crossings at southern border >record crime >"BUT JANUARY 6TH GUISE LITERALLY WORSE THAN 9/11 AND PEARL HARBOR COMBINED"
I thought E-drones hated the Meltzer? Why would they want to watch him. It’s almost like you’re coping because you sat through 45 minutes of garbage for a pre recorded sound bite from your internet garden gnome daddy.
they don't actually have discussions on American news, they edit packages and used whatever soundbytes fit the rhythm of the piece. They just need an "expert" to give the appearance of credibility. It's basically fine print for whatever they choose to air
that was amazing
what we knew from the official statement: we need to find out if Vince used company funds to bribe her
What 'wrestling journalist' meltzer confirmed in his 'leak': they will need to find out if the money used was actually the company's money or Vince's own money
Holy shit no wonder I pay 9.99 to him for the biggets leaks
>need people to talk about Vince
>call the guy who has been worked by Vince for decades
[log in to view media]
>Meltzer, who only the most autistic retarded people of the wrestling community has even heard of
>on the most popular normalfag liberal news show in America
what fucking timeline are we living in ?
Dude he has been on CNN before lol, talking about Hogan and I think Benoit. Autist or not he is the most famous and recognized in wrestling journalism so he is the go to for these things.
Not as weird as you think, off the top of my head he's been on mainstream news about Benoit, Hogan racism, and the steroid scandal way back.
Nobody watches CNN anymore.
Meltzer is mentioned on almost every Wikkipedia article about wrestling. For good or evil, that makes him as much as famous as McMahon for CNN.
Ah yes, wikipedia
where we can't quote the garden gnome using racist slurs but we can say he's a journalist
>what were the Benoit murders
>Meltzer, Alvarez, Keller on news shows every day for weeks
Fuck off, zoomer
Dave wasn't nearly as autistic then.
>talking Vince McMahon
What, is he going to use Vodoo magic to get a Vince McMahon bobble head to talk or something? I think this old homosexual has lost his marbles
>CNN
>Dave
Lmfao
>CNN
>Uncle Dave
Should be a delightful shitshow of Dave stumbling through his words while the host continually tries to get him to denounce Vince McMahon.
Hes about to break the vince mcmahon stepping down story. He knew about it two weeks ago
Dave on CNN? Talk about a fake news vortex.
I hope plans change and his segment gets cut
daves the biggest carny in wrestling
>itt
Edrones in SHAMBLES
Why are they interviewing him, he didn't know anything.
He knew about this two weeks ago he just didnt report on it. He has also known about the sasha release since last year
lol sure dave
They just want to talk to someone knowledgeable about Vince and the business. Like any time they bring in an "expert" who may not be involved but is educated on the subject.
holy shit it's real
While he's completely wrong about 99% of the shit he reports, for whatever reason normal homosexuals on reddit think he's 'a journalist' so cnn see him as 'an expert'
it's a bit like bringing on a 16 year old fangirl who writes harry potter fiction where she gets raped by the centaurs. it's shit but it's the best you got at such late notice because the odds are, the retarded kid, like meltzer will do it for free and isn't occupied with things like a life
So the exact same with everyone they have on
Keep living in your fantasy realm.
[log in to view media]
CNN pretty much only brings on people who have no fucking idea what they're talking about.
Of the three major networks, CNN is the most likely one to interview random people that really don't add much to a story.
MSNBC would host a panel discussion of their own talking heads, and Fox would be on an ad break for catheters and reverse mortgages.
[log in to view media]
and vacation packages to Israel
You know what the really ironic thing is, nobody is gonna ask Meltzer the most valuable question: Why didn't you come forward with this? Because Meltzer prides himself on having ALL the inside knowledge, he is definitely going to talk like he knew about this too, but I doubt anybody will push that button.
Why didn't Ryan Satin come out?
post the webm of dave from the dark side of the ring episode
Boy I sure can't wait for dave to uh-uhm-uh-er-uhm his way through that interview
>wel uhh... you know uhh, like uhhh, you know, it is what it is so uhhh, it's either that or uhhhh [clears throat loudly] uhhh you know? so yeah, yeah, that's what it is
[log in to view media]
Most of the interview will be CNN trying to squeeze some shit about Trump and Vince
>trying to get details on the case
>interview meltzer
>instantly gets side tracked talking about the biggest star of South African wrestling in the 50s
should be kino
Kek.
more like FNN
Holy based!
Kek Dave knew nothing about a months old story despite charging smark simps 11.99 what's he going to tell CNN lmao
Well umm *cough* ah... You see... *clears throat* WWE BAD... *cough* Learn more from The Observer for 11.99
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go get em Uncle Dave
>pro wrestling started 65 years ago
Come on, Dave. That's why you append "modern" to it.
Man the producers at cnn must be fucked for guests if they have to resort to booking Memezer
what are the chances he makes an AEW mention?
[log in to view media]
>Wolf Blitzer: so what does this mean for the WWE?
>Meltz: "well...um...here the thing.(smacks limps) umm... (long pause) but...i know that hes smarter than that to not use company but weirder things have happened..umm we just have to wait until um we hear um from the board and um what they find. Again it can go either way. Umm. Not sure how this will affect the Saudi deal Brian but we just um need to wait and see.
>A source close to Vince McMahon said it was a possibility but that it also wasn't. Historically this has always been a possibility except when it wasn't.
You forgot his weirdo tongue wag.
Lol yes i knew i forgot something
His...what? I've only ever heard the dude on podcasts, never watched him on video. You're telling me he even has autistic tics?
Holy kvetching, Batman.
[log in to view media]
>H-hey Dave. I heard you're gonna be on CNN talking Vince. Listen, I was wondering if you could do your boy a favor and name drop myself and aew on the show. We REALLY need all the help we can get to boost up the ratings. Let them know we're profitable too all because of cm punk. Thanks, b-brother.
He definitely will. Tony doesnt even need to ask. He will definitely find a way to slip in some comment about WWE having competition in AEW
>CNN: Thank you for joining us Mr. Dave Meltzer, before we get in--
>Meltzer: Thanks for having me.
>CNN: ...Before we get into Vince McMahon stepping down from his positin as Chairman of WWE, let's get into how Vince McMahon's wife was a former cabinet member of Donald Trump. Was Vince a vocal supporter of Donald Trump?
>Meltzer: Well, hey, y'know, Vince has always, y'know... ALWAYS liked Donald Trump. They've always ummmm worked t-t-tuhhh together including at Wrestlemania, WWE's largest show of the year.
>CNN: Yes, he actually made Donald Trump the star at his Wrestlemania. Trump has even said of Vince--
>Meltzer: 'kay, 'kay hold on a minute ummmmmm like it's it's soooo.... y'know ummmmm like it's real friendship. They like each other a whole bunch.
Why is this on the news? Wrestling is irrelevant
Because CNN needs any reason to smear Trump because Linda was a cabinet member of his.
[log in to view media]
?t=332
Is there a way to watch this live if I'm a EU fag
Im sure it'll be up on YT or any video hosting site shortly after it happens.
https://watchnewslive.tv/cnn-live-streaming/ try this one brother.
Based and redpilled
What a dimes angle this is. This is red hot. WWE does it again
We just keep winning. Egods are on top of the world right now!
[log in to view media]
>gets his notes out
>start reading last year's G1 results
kek based
would shoot pop huge if he makes cnn wait for him to find his notes kek
would buy a sub if he did that kek
Predict the star rating.
Can’t wait for his phone go off or some other alarm as he is oblivious to the loud noise and just keeps blabbing about 1990’s AJPW.
>CNN RATINGS SKYROCKET
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>*starts blathering on about AEW and Omega after being asked how the news got leaked*
he better wear a fucking suit
We should have odds on dave putting over aew or tony kahn. Or, like, bingo cards or something.
i hope to god he's interviewed by satellite from his disgusting mess of a guest room
[log in to view media]
yes, exactly like that
>Can barely make it through a sentence without coughing his lungs up on Observer Live
This CNN appearance will be a disaster...
oh boy
Dave gets to say ya know and uhm on live tv for 5 minutes
And with us is Dave Meltzer from the Wrestling Observer, Dave what's going on with WWE?
> well, you know, *cough*, it's like this, the thing is that, with all the you know, um, of course Jerry McDevitt is McMahon's attorney, so you know, the . . . yeah
CNN talking head 'asplodes
> we all win
guys I need a stream to witness this circus, where can I pirate CNN feed?
>CNN
Damnit, Dave! Fox is the draw in 18-49!
>its a pre-tape
Booo
This is the best advertising for Smackdown in 20 years
I hope he wears a tie
garden gnomes always doing favors for other garden gnomes even if they all have no idea what they’re talking about
20 minutes bump before uncle dave is live
Where can I stream cnn online?
https://watchnewslive.tv/cnn-live-streaming/
Thanks
I got a stream in my server. discord/RSdHbB5U
Dave's autism is going to be out of control. Imagine how many "y'knows" we'll get.
someone better rip the telecast and upload it to mega or something
I haven't watched CNN in over a decade, I always new it was going to be something wrestling related that drew me back in. I always thought it would Hogan or Vinces actual death.
>famous for his fake news
>goes to the de facto fake news network
lmao
[log in to view media]
dave time davebros
[log in to view media]
https://baked.live/tv/Wrestling
Stream's up on there.
>baked
Nope
I hope he does it from webcam in his dirty house. But he will probably be at a local news station satellite linked to CNN.
I hope he does.
he's going to be in his office like always
Don't American news channels start with the most important news at 5pm?
It's 24/7 news so they don't necessarily put the most important stories at the top of every single hour.
Fair enough
> implying american news channels actually broadcast news
Most of their programming is "yell at you" TV.
> one guest from side A, 4 guests from side B
> they yell at each other
my local news outlet has coverage from 4:30 to 6:30 which peaks at the final half hour.
I hope the host brings up wrestling being fucking fake
[log in to view media]
>news of Vince's downfall on CNN
Guess what, Vince?!
slowest burn story telling
The longest game
[log in to view media]
>watching (((le meltz)))
>watching (((cnn)))
pozzed, the whole lot of you
>Le ukraine
Who cares
>interviewing some blurred out guy describing the war in ukraine
this is fucking gay. what happened to cnn embedding reporters with troops on the front line.
ukraine made that illegal because they're getting blown the fuck out too hard
nice headcanon, Vlad
https://frontnews.eu/en/news/details/24229
because it's a propaganda piece.
so was embedding troops on the front line but at least that was cool
i understand why boomers are brain damaged from watching this shit or fox news all day
Kek this, only been watching <10 mins I already want to kill myself
BORING GET TO DAVE ALREADY
Why do people think sanctions will be effective?
Yeah yeah russian jet whatever where's Dave?
why in the fuck is a member of the ukrainian parliament live in the cnn headquarters in atlanta. lol.
I can't even understand her broken English
>Dave got worked into thinking he'd be on at the top of the hour
Glad I didn't miss this fucking homosexual garden gnome
So when the fuck are we getting to Meltzer? I want to see him sperg out. I never saw it before
He'll probably be given like 30 seconds at the end kek
[log in to view media]
>5pm
plans change...
[log in to view media]
>economy tailspinning into chaos
>$6.00 gas
>food shortages
>housing market imploding
>record illegal crossings at southern border
>record crime
>"BUT UKRAINE YOU GUISE"
lol how long has the US been sanctioning Iran and nothing changes? Sanctions don't work.
their airports and hospitals audience will surely eat that up
>BOOOOOOO
>We Want Dave
>We Want Dave
[log in to view media]
>LULZ got worked into watching CNN
WRAP IT UP
WRAP IT UP
WRAP IT UP
THIS IS AWFUL *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* THIS IS AWFUL *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* THIS IS AWFUL *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*
I'm more of a Cheddar News man myself.
A FUCKING RIVER??????
[log in to view media]
>empty river going over dave
plans change
[log in to view media]
NOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE HECKIN TROUTERINO
cute
BAH GAWD THIS MAN'S MADE OUT OF PRODUCE
kek woodditards watching CNN lmao what a bunch of homosexuals
t. tucker carlson viewer
Yes this is a Tucker board now get the fuck back to wooddit
cry harder chud
why are you here on LULZ startin bullshit?
idk been here since 09, way before you election tourists
do you get your clip-on bow tie at random or does your mom's new boyfriend choose it for you
Tucker is an American traitor
Why does he have sex with men though?
>watching sesame street for 68 year old jetski dealership owners hosted by a closet fag
>abortion commercial
Do Americans really
Political advertisement is a trillion dollar industry.
alright fuck this, not worth my time to see 2 minutes of dave
Need to see joshipedos aborted
I rushed to go to the toilet and get a beer before this started and now I'm sitting here watching Biden stumble through some bullshit. Where's Dave stumbling through some bullshit?
Plans changed
Soon. He's coming any minute.
>can’t buy a house because mortgage prices are insane
>can’t rent because rent prices are insane
>can’t get to work because gas prices are insane
It’s ogre bros
Ride a bike
get fucked homosexual
kek they are not even hiding their affiliation to wooddit now, fucking rats.
____________________________________
Everyone above this line is a mark
[log in to view media]
>free gas cards from the gubment fight inflation
Are they literally retarded?
Yes
It's about appeasing the marks, not fixing the problem.
Big Money Dave Meltzer main eventing over Ukraine and inflation
>BUY GOLD
>ALSO COME TO MY WEIRD BRUTALIST INDUSTRIAL PARK
>>ALSO COME TO MY WEIRD BRUTALIST INDUSTRIAL PARK
What place I missed it
setting for the ad was a beardo dude hiding in the shadows telling a woman to buy gold without legally saying so but it was empty and filled with pillars.
Keynes is going over
>ads during news
>news
Don't care about this gnomish homosexual they should interview someone with an actual phone line with Vince like Hulk Hogan
Hogan would charge them for his time. Dave is probably doing this for free.
Vince doesn’t talk to racist chuds
What will the ratings for this be?
over under what're the odds the property bros pulled twin magic on their spouses at least once
>Dave jobs to a river
Lmaooo leftypol worked and seething
>EVERYBODY DAMPRID
>Juneteenthmania
God I hate america
FUUUUUUUU
>January 6th insurrection
>insurrection
cope
I'm trying but you homosexuals make my blood boil.
I know, right? They should say FAILED insurrection
you mean 500 goofballs walking into a public building?
>public building
chuds are so stupid kek
Red Wave is guaranteed in November and Trump will win in 2024
Faux news
nice 2004 meme lmao
>meme
I thought he was supposed to be put back in power over a year ago? What happened?
Lol.
>walking in
beggin ya to open a book once in a while, hell even a magazine
I watched the whole thing live. They forced their way past police barricades, and smashed through doors and windows with stolen riot shields.
it was a protest
>storming the capitol to assassinate politicians and overturn an election isn't an insurrection
No wonder Trump cons you dipshits so easily
what kind of fuck up are you to go "I'll name my son 'Couy.'"
p-plans change
>still no dave
Meltzer is the main event
kek look at this retarded hick getting himself sent to jail
WE WANT DAVE
WE WANT DAVE
WE WANT DAVE
WE WANT DAVE
WE WANT DAVE
[log in to view media]
>"STEPHANIE... I know I told you that you were going to take over as interim Chairman and CEO. But there's more to it than that pal. Ya see, I worked, sweat, and bled hard to get to where I am today and where this business is today. You think I'm just going to hand everything over to you? That's good shit!! you in the back... heh... come on out"
>*Shane McMahon's music starts playing*
>*crowd pops insanely loudly*
>Shane and Steph have an angry face-off in the middle of the ring while Vince smirks and laughs evily in the background
>Vince takes off his suit to reveal a ref outfit underneath
>"Okay ring the bel-"
>*TIME TO PLAY THE GAMEEEEEEE, MUAHAHAHA*
>Holy shit it's actually Trips in gear
>crowd collectively spontaneously combusts, the camera is literally vibrating
>Steph and Shane absolutely in shambles, disbelief, facial expressions running the entire gamut, crazy eyes, crying, what is this insanity, crowd is still shitting their pants with excitement
>Hunter goes giant-shnoz to smaller-shnoz to every single person in the ring individually, if looks could kill they'd be dead and buried already
>"Not so fast Vince... why do you think I hired that intern, introduced her to you, and then leaked this story in the first place..."
>High-pitched "ahhh oh my god!!" from Lawler on commentary
>crowd goes even more insane
>HHH smirks
>"ok, now it's really time to ring the bel-"
>*Linda McMahon's music hits*
>crowd goes nuclear, Steph/HHH/Shane/Vince all go nuclear rolling around in the ring in absolute conniptions, unsure what the fuck happened to cause this tear in the time/space continuum reality spectrum
>"not so fast Vince, ol' hubby ol "pal"... I thought it might be helpful to give you a little teaser for where you're going to be living for the next 10 years after the investigation concludes..."
>camera pans to the arena ceiling revealing a giant cage
>it slowly lowers as Vince is in tears and Trips, Steph, and Shane still don't know wtf is going on
(1/2)
[log in to view media]
>it reaches the bottom, and Linda lifts the blanket covering the cage so she can open the door
>inside the cage is
>donald
>fucking
>trump
>crowd pops so loud everyone's ears literally start bleeding and you can't even hear the commentators despite them being piped in in production overtop the crowd in an entirely separate audio channel
>the camera is literally shaking now you can barely make out what's going on
>Vince in the background suddenly instantly stopped crying? reveals a bottle of "fake tears" he was using to make himself cry and starts laughing maniacally
>Donald rips the mic out of Linda's hands
>looks straight into the camera
>crowd goes silent to cherish every word the President we all miss dearly says
>he says the camera, he says
>he says
>"Hillary and Joe, this is your unavoidable fate when I become your President for a 3rd time in 2024"
>He grabs her by the pussy and throws her unceremoniously into the cage and stomps a mudhole dry on her as the crowd chants "USA! USA! USA!" and waves giant beautiful American flags
>he slams the cage shut
>pronoun and alphabet people everywhere immediately commit suicide, instantly making the world a better place
>CNN anchors all hang themselves on camera
>"send her up Vince"
>Vince, still laughing, presses the "send the cage up" button
>as Linda weeps in the cage, HHH, Shane, and Steph all stand mouths agape, Vince looks at Donald with his evil smirk, Donald rips off his suit jacket to reveal a ref outfit underneath
>"let's make WWF great again, Vince... that's right, I said WWF, not WWE"
>WWE logo on screen suddenly changes to the WWF logo
>"ya see not only am I tag-reffing with Vince folks, I also talked with my Justices Kavanaugh, ACB, and Gorusch... and they assured me that if the World Wildlife Foundation makes ANY fuss about this... they'll rule in Vince's favor. Now ring that fucking bell"
>as the bell rings and the match begins, the crowd, in pure ecstasy yells
>"WHAT"
how mad would Dave be lol
damn you wasted so much fucking time writing this lol i didnt read a word of it
>Chuds seething
Thanks for the meme magic dave
Is trump gonna win 2024
No lol
nah dwayne is
according to the future documentary beamed back to us now on peacock he runs in 2032
It's him vs Sonic. Sonic is winning
Yes but it'll be Ron DeSantis wearing his face and convincing everyone he is Trump.
kek he couldn't even beat a dude with Alzheimer's when he was the incumbent. He'll do another job.
Who gives a shit about this yeehaw voting bullshit?
Give us fucking Meltzer you cunts
this board is retarded, myself included
lmao Dave is going to have to show his dirty ass office on national television
He better
HE’S HERE
>sitting through an hour of this garbage for a 2minute dave interview
we had like 20 thousand retards honking truck horns in front of parliament for like a month straight up in leaf land this year and even our media which never lets anything go stopped milking the story immediately after it ended, why do americans still care about the january 6 thing
Because they are retarded. Blacks burnt and looted the country for over a year and they said it's great and peaceful
[log in to view media]
>economy tailspinning into chaos
>$6.00 gas
>food shortages
>housing market imploding
>record illegal crossings at southern border
>record crime
>"BUT JANUARY 6TH GUISE LITERALLY WORSE THAN 9/11 AND PEARL HARBOR COMBINED"
[log in to view media]
It was definitely much dumber
Market Crashing huge twice in three days and literally not one story about it on google news even in the business section, sad!
If you think 3% is huge
I'm afraid I've got some bad news
This shit makes BBC news look impartial
Any other brits watching this?
Try watching Australia's ABC. Same as BBC, publicly funded. Anti white almost as bad as BBC. All staff are now transgender Rwandan refugees basically.
Fair shake of the sauce bottle mate
They're putting Big Dimes Dave in the rock spot.
>We're actually watching CNN to see 5 minutes of Meltzer on TV
Everyone here is a schizo
streaming it on a pirate site anon so I don't count as a viewer for them ^__^
Put cnn on to see Dave, instead watching cnn lie to my face.
Fuck you
[log in to view media]
this is the black girl vince threw it away for? cute!
kek did they just coin the term "the big lie" for the election? CNN more carney than wrestling
No Dave?
Plans Change
it's gonna end the show.
It's the main event?
they said next up after the break.
>Former Ted Cruz communications staffer
>looks like the porn star he liked on Twitter
it suddenly clicks
I've seen Cory Chase shit on a plate before.
I'm more of a vanilla desperate amateurs man myself.
YES HERE HE COMES
>I hope the next republican leader supports democracy
jesus fucking christ
Its only democracy when commies win.
>supporting democracy is bad
Do chuds really? Oh right, they do. They tried to murder Pence.
Republicans are shoot retards, anon. Please understand.
Remember this is modern-day LULZ, a lot of LULZtards like to cross-board.
Will they refer to him as a journalist? Are CNN that big of a liar organization?
Okay, so right after the river story
HERE WE FUCKING GO
DAVE TEASED FOR THE BLOCK AFTER THE COMMERCIAL. GET IN HERE LADS. HE'S COMING.
It’s next bros!!
>ITS HAPPENING
It’s next bros!!
>ITS HAPPENING
It’s next bros!!
>ITS HAPPENING
Dave Gonna OutDraw This Wednesdays Dynamite In The Ratings
Pottery
*shuffles papers*
[log in to view media]
*works you into watching almost an hour of cnn*
fucking cunt
WON award for most disgusting promotional tactic
jfc that girl is about 12 and they're giving her a credit card
>your country on garden gnomes
I'm from west yorup anon
Oh good you already know
>Chris Pratt
I will not watch your series
He's up next.
IT'S TIME
*coughing intensifies*
>Don’t reuse needles!
>Don’t share needles!
>Do wake up at 5am and work for 12 hours!
>Do say apologize to any minorities!
>Eat the bugs!
Clown world
Meltzer up next
>Wrestling with Scandal
weak chyron there producer.
Here we go!
Vince is based.
its time for the main event
What exactly is the problem with paying someone to shut up about the fact he fucked some bitch?
him upping her salary (company funds) just because they were fucking
[log in to view media]
>it's a pre-tape
Goddammit.
Did he film it on that ratty 20yo PC of his?
kek at the toothless fan they just showed
will dave beat rampage in the ratings?
Dave should brag about the ratings if he beats a wrestling show tonight
>a shitty pretaped zoom interview with 1 line
LMAO WORKED
[log in to view media]
ooohhh goodd hes here
TROONS WILL BE TROONS!
Yeah we don't want to see your dirty ass office get that camera real close and shoot form below.
LOL HOLY SHIT
DAVE IS WORTHLESS
ALL THAT FOR A 3 SECOND CLIP OF HIM SAYING NOTHING
they obviously edited and it was probably a nightmare founding a smooth soundbyte to air
>Meltzer's CNN appearance is a pre-recorded video package
KWAB
>$3 million to suck old dick
Shit I’d do it
I am fucking seething right now I can't believe I got worked by CNN
At least Dave beat the river.
Trump getting more time than Meltz.
[log in to view media]
>it was a pre-tape
>they still had to take digs at Trump
Fucking CNN, I swear to God.
>Meltz on CNN
KEK WHAT A BITCH
[log in to view media]
Pretty much this.
E-drones got worked again and CNN of course had to shoehorn Trump into that whole thing as well.
I thought E-drones hated the Meltzer? Why would they want to watch him. It’s almost like you’re coping because you sat through 45 minutes of garbage for a pre recorded sound bite from your internet garden gnome daddy.
>Trump outta nowhere
This is CNN
Of course it's pre-taped. Have you heard Dave live?
holy based dave with the 70 seconds
>watching 45 minutes of modern news for that
im such a goddamn retard
Worked
What exactly did Dave add to any of that?
Did he just beg Jake Tapper to put him on TV?
it was a 3 hour call and those were the only usable bits
they don't actually have discussions on American news, they edit packages and used whatever soundbytes fit the rhythm of the piece. They just need an "expert" to give the appearance of credibility. It's basically fine print for whatever they choose to air
that was amazing
what we knew from the official statement: we need to find out if Vince used company funds to bribe her
What 'wrestling journalist' meltzer confirmed in his 'leak': they will need to find out if the money used was actually the company's money or Vince's own money
Holy shit no wonder I pay 9.99 to him for the biggets leaks
That's it??????????????????????
minus 6 stars dave
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>Dave's autism is so strong that they had to pre-tape him and air barely anything
kek based
Joe Byron Wake Up
holy fuckin hell the deranged freaks are seethin kek