could not push disabled bmw into parkinglot

yesterday i was running errands and i see some old people trying to push a bmw into a parkinglot, i stop to try and help.

I push on the car and it will not budge
"hey are you in nuetral?" "ya"
"is your foot off the brake?" "ya"
every other car, ive been able to at least rock back and forth, this thing was locked to the ground.

things i remember. it had one of those shifter circles, it had a gas engine that would not start, cant remember the exact noise it made...starter was clicking but no gas? i think someone mentioned it didnt have gas.... someone else also mentioned it was an e-vehicle... hybrid?

wtf was going on to where the wheels locked and we couldnt push it into the parkinglot??
the car looked pretty new. the female driver looked pretty oblivious. maybe she confused nuetral for park??? lmao
any insight?

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Parking brake?

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    electric parking brake engaged, maybe wont unengage unless the engine runs

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      she forgot to pay her "driveshaft unlock subscription" fee of $40 for August
      very common mistake
      many such cases
      sad
      silly woman

      >can't disengage parking brake with engine off
      that's the stupidest fuckin idea... therefore I bet BMW does it
      also "would you like to upgrade to our "parking brake disengage with engine on OR off" premium subscription service, for the low price of only an additional $15 per month?"

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Cars with electronic shifters and e-brakes will have a pull tab hidden somewhere in the cabin that will mechanically shift the transmission into neutral and release the parking brake.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ultimate parking machine. Most modern cars are like this though.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >manaer and people are yelling at me to put it in neutral
      LMAO, SHE BROKE DOWN ON A SUPER BUSY/SHARP CORNER AND EVERY THIRD CAR HONKED AT HER, LOL

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    tldr?

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can't shift into neutral if the car dies with modern autotragics anymore. They automatically lock in park so autotragic driving retards don't run themselves over. Same reason they have to stomp on the brake to take it out of park. Autotragic drivers have shown time and time again that they are too stupid to be trusted.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    bump becuase wtf
    does tesla have this wheel lock feature as well?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think all new cars have it, somebody has to be sitting in the drivers seat now for cars to be in neutral because Mr Chekov in the Kelvin Timeline got run over by his own SUV.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      When my Tesla broke down there was still a way for me to shift it into neutral. However, the battery (regular car battery) then died and I wasn’t able to get into neutral without jumping the car battery

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i found this
    after googling for a pretty long time
    https://www.bimmerfest.com/threads/how-the-heck-do-i-put-it-into-neutral-without-starting-the-engine.1113273/

    >1: Push start button
    >2: Push the lever twice in to N
    >3: Push the lever to N and hold for 5 seconds
    >4: Transmission is now disengaged for 15 minutes after which it will re-lock itself.

    image links:
    https://www.bimmerfest.com/attachments/release-parking-brake-png.683833/
    https://www.bimmerfest.com/attachments/release-transmission-png.683841/

    WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK!?
    who the fuck in their right mind would ever buy such a fucking thing???

    AHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAA

    >you VILL pay for ze heated seat subscription!
    >you VILL NOT shift into neutral!
    >you VILL NOT push ze disabled car!
    >und yu VILL be freudig!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/technical-stuff/189909-bmw-inability-move-park-neutral-ignition-but-engine-off.html
      in this thread they wrote that they had to have a service tech come and jack up the vehicle and hit the tranmission with an allen wrench to engage nuetral

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >The engine does not have to be on to shift to Neutral, but the vehicle electronics have to be on. Now, the problem occurs with the ZF 8-speed transmission when the battery dies and the vehicle needs to be towed, as there is no longer a manual release key as there was with the 6-speed ZF automatic gearbox.

      nuooooooohhhhh aaaaahaahahahahaaahhahahahahahah LOOK AT THIS DUDE

      >With the gas crisis here in NYC this occured to me yesterday. II don't know of any way to get our car into neutral if you run out of gas and the engine won't start. Back in the old days you could move the shift lever into N and have someone push your car. Is there any way that this can be done with our cars or are we SOL if we run out of gas?

      bimmernaggercattle can't even shift their own trannies AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

      >The F10 no longer have that release mechanism on the shifter or under the cupholder, I believe if the battery is dead, the release mechanism is underneath the car.

      >There is a manual release, it is just under the car now. I can't find the details in the tech docs I have, I'll try to get the details.

      GOTTA GET UNDER THE CAR WITH A FUCKIN SCREWDRIVER! GOTTA READ THE SERVICE MANUAL TO PUT THE CAR IN NEUTRAL!

      NUOOOOWAHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

      me:
      >apply brake pedal
      >move column shift down 2 stops

      ultimate parking machine enthusiast:
      It is under the cupholder. The tool is in the trunk.

      If you dont have the tool, try this (copied from another thread):

      1) Turn the ignition ON (KL15).
      2) Press the brake pedal and continue pressing it throughout all further steps.
      3) Press the Start/Stop button (starter will engage).
      4) As soon as the starter motor is engaged, press the unlock button on the left side of the GWS shifter and move the shifter forward to position N.

      Note: For M57Y diesel engine-equipped vehicles and during low ambient temperatures, a certain delay (up to 4 seconds) may be experienced before switching to the N position.

      5) Continue pressing the GWS shifter towards the N position until the audible gong is heard and a CC message "Gearbox Malfunction. Gearbox position P may not be possible. Activate parking brake while vehicle is standing" is displayed.
      6) Then release the gearshift and reselect the N position within the next 6 seconds. Gear position N is then displayed in the instrument cluster.
      7) Continue depressing the brake pedal until the starter motor stops cranking. Then the brake pedal can be released and the vehicle can be moved/pushed into a desired place.

      Important:
      After applying the procedure described above, the vehicle can only be moved manually. Towing is prohibited since the parking lock may engage, causing severe transmission damage.

      8) The ignition has to be ON (KL15) at all the times during this process. If turned OFF, the Park gear position is going to be engaged automatically.

      Note: Throughout the procedure, you must recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the People's Republic of China (in Mandarin) backwards while hopping on 1 foot and patting yourself on the head, except on Tuesdays, in which case Cantonese must be used; failure to obey this procedure could void your vehicle's warranty. BMW assumes no responsibility for incorrect pronunciation of any Chinese languages.

      You can't shift into neutral if the car dies with modern autotragics anymore. They automatically lock in park so autotragic driving retards don't run themselves over. Same reason they have to stomp on the brake to take it out of park. Autotragic drivers have shown time and time again that they are too stupid to be trusted.

      >You can't shift into neutral if the car dies with modern autotragics anymore. They automatically lock in park so autotragic driving retards don't run themselves over.
      Do autotragicfags really

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's even worse than you think. Many cars nowadays are /designed/ to lock you in Park, or even worse they slam themselves into Park as soon as you start moving, if the car thinks you're 'unsafe'.
        Don't have the driver's door shut all the way? Stuck in Park.
        Didn't buckle your seatbelt? You're going nowhere.
        Dare to lift your ass out of the seat momentarily? Believe it or not, straight to Park.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          oh god i hate that shit i used to work at a dealership and this one time i didn’t close the door all the way and the truck i was driving stopped itself so abruptly i almost hit my head on the steering wheel. it was retarded

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Shit like this is why you never buy a car that has features meant specifically to take control away from the operator.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >The engine does not have to be on to shift to Neutral, but the vehicle electronics have to be on. Now, the problem occurs with the ZF 8-speed transmission when the battery dies and the vehicle needs to be towed, as there is no longer a manual release key as there was with the 6-speed ZF automatic gearbox.

    nuooooooohhhhh aaaaahaahahahahaaahhahahahahahah LOOK AT THIS DUDE

    >With the gas crisis here in NYC this occured to me yesterday. II don't know of any way to get our car into neutral if you run out of gas and the engine won't start. Back in the old days you could move the shift lever into N and have someone push your car. Is there any way that this can be done with our cars or are we SOL if we run out of gas?

    bimmernaggercattle can't even shift their own trannies AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

    >The F10 no longer have that release mechanism on the shifter or under the cupholder, I believe if the battery is dead, the release mechanism is underneath the car.

    >There is a manual release, it is just under the car now. I can't find the details in the tech docs I have, I'll try to get the details.

    GOTTA GET UNDER THE CAR WITH A FUCKIN SCREWDRIVER! GOTTA READ THE SERVICE MANUAL TO PUT THE CAR IN NEUTRAL!

    NUOOOOWAHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    me:
    >apply brake pedal
    >move column shift down 2 stops

    ultimate parking machine enthusiast:
    It is under the cupholder. The tool is in the trunk.

    If you dont have the tool, try this (copied from another thread):

    1) Turn the ignition ON (KL15).
    2) Press the brake pedal and continue pressing it throughout all further steps.
    3) Press the Start/Stop button (starter will engage).
    4) As soon as the starter motor is engaged, press the unlock button on the left side of the GWS shifter and move the shifter forward to position N.

    Note: For M57Y diesel engine-equipped vehicles and during low ambient temperatures, a certain delay (up to 4 seconds) may be experienced before switching to the N position.

    5) Continue pressing the GWS shifter towards the N position until the audible gong is heard and a CC message "Gearbox Malfunction. Gearbox position P may not be possible. Activate parking brake while vehicle is standing" is displayed.
    6) Then release the gearshift and reselect the N position within the next 6 seconds. Gear position N is then displayed in the instrument cluster.
    7) Continue depressing the brake pedal until the starter motor stops cranking. Then the brake pedal can be released and the vehicle can be moved/pushed into a desired place.

    Important:
    After applying the procedure described above, the vehicle can only be moved manually. Towing is prohibited since the parking lock may engage, causing severe transmission damage.

    8) The ignition has to be ON (KL15) at all the times during this process. If turned OFF, the Park gear position is going to be engaged automatically.

    Note: Throughout the procedure, you must recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the People's Republic of China (in Mandarin) backwards while hopping on 1 foot and patting yourself on the head, except on Tuesdays, in which case Cantonese must be used; failure to obey this procedure could void your vehicle's warranty. BMW assumes no responsibility for incorrect pronunciation of any Chinese languages.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine buying an automatic bmw. All my M cars are manuals

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Imagine buying an automatic bmw. All my M cars are manuals
      do you buy new or used? jw

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      BMW manuals are horrible for different reasons

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They put the reverse where 1st gear goes what could got wrong?

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    holy fuck imagine making this thread and thinking you made a big impact on the world

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >holy fuck imagine making this thread and thinking you made a big impact on the world
      Well, now I know I don't want BMW transmissions. At least for that model which also requires the battery to have a charge in order to pull the solenoid for Neutral out of lock position ffor 15 minutes (or however much charge the battery has left in it).

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >transmissions made by BMW

        You sir have won the internet today.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >seething autocuck

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Suck it BMW, even my trusty old Datsun could be pushed into the mall parking lot after the 40-year old fuel pump finally kicked the bucket. Datsun wins again!
    ...Now to spend a month trying to hunt down a compatible fuel pump for a reasonable price.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wtf is that grill is this shopped?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

Your email address will not be published.