I'm a boring sperg and I want to get better at conversation so I can get better results on dating apps. Please give me advice so I can improve.
Here is one that looked promising but fizzled out.
Conversation critique
Falling into your wing while paragliding is called 'gift wrapping' and turns you into a dirt torpedo pic.twitter.com/oQFKsVISkI
— Mental Videos (@MentalVids) March 15, 2023
With this one she liked me first and seemed enthusiastic but it fizzled out. I reveal that I have a low status job in this one which often causes a ghost but she didn't seem to mind.
You looking for a book club or a bitch to fuck?
book club
Seen too many retard responses like this. You have a child's instinct to be a stubborn fool.
> I reveal that I have a low status job in this one which often causes a ghost but she didn't seem to mind.
If you can demonstrate ambition, having a low status job now is often not a deal breaker. i.e. it's temporary.
No escalation. This was a dating site, right?
On dating sites women are either just looking for attention, or, they are looking for escalation towards a date.
You have to make the move, they won't, so if she sounds interesting, say so, and ask for a date to meet.
didn't read
Here she didn't like the books I'm reading which makes me think my interests arent attractive. Should I say im into different things?
No escalation.
You liked her legs. When she asks what you're reading, say "nothing I'm looking at your legs" etc. and you flirt from there.
Dude, what. Dating applications are for getting a girl's number and getting off the app asap.
Get a phone number and/or date within 10 messages. Girls aren't there to be your penpals.
I always assumed longer conversations were better since sometimes I ask them on a date quickly and they basically say "too soon". Maybe they are just BSing though. Can anyone else confirm the 'date or number within 10 messages' heuristic is true?
No. This convo is retarded because it gives you less to work with on an actual date. There is less to talk about since you've already talked about it in text, which is already a terrible medium for bonding. In essence, you blew your load. Rookie mistake.
Bond with her briefly over that topic, then, once she is receptive, follow up with "You seem pretty cool. I'd love to grab some coffee with you and talk about Manufacturing Consent sometime."
This feels like it could be good advice, thanks. In the top right of the first pic liz said she didn't want to give her number because it was too soon. Does that mean it was doomed from the start or is there some other factor I'm not noticing?
Dating apps are unfortunately a numbers game. People fall into different types, but the ones that say "it's too soon," can be categorized as "time wasters." I'd just move on from them. Say like, "ok cool" then attempt to get someone else's number.
Archetypes: time wasters (discard), one word responders (can still attempt number), eager beavers (they'll give you their number more quickly if they like you).
> I always assumed longer conversations were better
No. Longer just means more ghosting as she is distracted by the new hot thing.
>Can anyone else confirm the 'date or number within 10 messages' heuristic is true?
Ten messages is quick. A couple of days, the first week.
Yeah I thought a few days sounded more correct than ten messages.
Both those ghosts posted happened within one day though. Should I still have been escalating within that one day? Can you give an example of what escalating might look like?
You're right, it is boring, plus women don't know shit about this kind of topic so it's pointless to try and talk to them about it as they're just pretending and mimicking what they've been told.
that's what 99.99% of people do
Couldn’t get past the first page of messages. You two are trying to one up each other intellectually. What a fucking boring conversation to be having on a dating app. Save that shit for RL.
>trying to one up each other intellectually
This type of shit is so unbelievably obnoxious both online and irl, I don't think it'll change anything doing it elsewhere.
>Here is one that looked promising but fizzled out.
No escalation.
Women aren't looking for an easy to control beta yes man who has all the same interests, agrees with everything, and looks for her approval. Go read Beauty and the Beast. They are looking for The Beast. A creature which can give her the lifestyle she wants, which can devastate all opposition. A force which she can bewitch with her pussy.
I tried something more direct with this one but still got a ghost
you don't deserve her
i would say
>wow lady you're a killer, im getting butterflies in my abs already
And I thought I was a boring texter, Jesus H Christ
How do I be less boring? What would you have said there?
I usually respond to the prompts rather than pictures, because there's a lot more you can work with there. This girl knows you "like the shower selfie thing" because you liked the photo. Your comment doesn't need to reiterate it. Bear in mind that these women receive a million compliments from boring guys all the time, so try to be funny or witty or something. Come up with comments that they likely haven't heard before -- something to set you apart from her other orbiters
Fuck this shit is dystopian. Gender dynamics are so insanely unbalanced in the 2020s
Careful buddy, you're starting to sound like an INCEL. Step back into line
It's not great, but I was being slightly hyperbolic in my previous answer. I'm not terribly charming nor attractive but I've got three dates over the next four days with girls I've met on Hinge. Don't worry anon, its possible
I appreciate the adimvice bro. Can you give some examples of the sorts of things you opened with?
Not really. Think of it like this - You've approached this girl because she has something you want. Your response makes it look like you want sex.
If you want her to be open to that, you need to give her a reason to want to have sex with you. From her perspective all that's happened is that you've said "you're hot, lets fuck" and left her with no incentive to follow up. What do you think she wants?
Honestly though, that one was already off to a bad start. "Seems it's a winner" is a closed statement. She didn't like your opener.
>She didn't like your opener.
Why did she match me then?
If I had to guess, it was that not having a strong opener wasn't a deal breaker for her and she decided to give you a chance to redeem yourself. Then you went straight to "lets fuck" and that was that.
You attacked before you understood your enemy. You failed to understand the signs you were shown and as a result you wasted your opportunity by blindly directing your attack at a point which was not vulnerable to the kind of attack you used.
I've just finished reading The Art of War again.
>You attacked before you understood your enemy.
It was only because she had this prompt that I went for a more sleazy opening. It was curated to what I had reason to think she would respond well to.
Ok, fair.
I wouldn't expect quality company from a girl like that anyway. Don't stress about this one.
Based, also nice digits.
>Can anyone else confirm the 'date or number within 10 messages' heuristic is true?
I tried that once - my 10th message was setting up the date, 11th was "cya :)", 12th was confirming on the day of the date (that's it, no other messages). I panicked when I realised I know literally nothing about her and had no idea how to get the conversation roling so it ended up awkward as fuck.
Not doing that again.
cringe dude
you probably the type to say “ where my hug at ? “
Is this anon right? Should I avoid explicitly sexual comments?
Yes. Find ways to be sexual but never explicit
The game of trying to figure out if she got it is torture
Lol they are so dumb. Talking to 20 guys at once with 5% of their brain like if there is any doubt then she didn’t get it
Never forget that women can't critique men's rizz. They know what they like and what works, but they can't a guy get there. They also don't understand that it's a skill. With almost everything women only see the winners. The process from going from 83/100 to top 10 is invisible to women. When you meet new women they just assume you were always like that. In every successful guy that didn't really start out that way, exists the guy he was. He still is that guy to a degree.
I am kind of at the point where I dont think it matters much what you say. Its such a crapshoot because you dont know if youre catching her at a good time and you dont know anything about her and what she likes.
Best course of action to find a good copy/paste message, send that to everyone. Then immediately escalate into into trying to get them to meet up. Provided you get enough matches for this to be practical.
Have a bar or two that you regularly attend and get them to meet you there. This is key because being seen at this bar with lots of different women is strong social proof and the girls that work there and any girls who also regularly go to this bar will want to fuck you. Work on them and get them into your fold so that they can in turn provide social proof to the girls you bring to the bar. Its a beautiful thing when done right. Kind of a social circle type game with a built in funnel. Cocky/funny just comes naturally in this environment. This is how I fucked 12 girls in 2018 despite having a big ugly nose.
A lot of my successes happen when I simply type 'fancy going for some cocktails?' Immediately. Maybe conversation over text is pointless and you should just start conversation in person asap if they are willing to.
honestly there's no advice to give. any woman that's actually well read and has thoughts about ideas is already too idiosyncratic to really discuss on this sort of board. there's a million things that could have gone wrong in the conversation you'd never know, you might have hinted obliquely at some ideology that really turns her off and she had read too much into it.
on actual date app conversations don't get into it more than "unga bunga. girl cute. want give food and have special Huggies"
You're trying to go on a date/have sex with this girl. Keep the conversation light at first, don't grill her on leftist thinkers. You come across as pretentious.
what app is that op
PLEASE ANSWER ME !!
Not OP, but it's Hinge.
thanks pal. is the kind of girls you find there different from tinder? i'm asking cuz op's convos seem to be deeper than the ones i've seen from there
Kidna. I haven't used it in a while. Each app is kinda different from what i remember though.
Yeah they feel more 'real' and I get fewer matches but more dates there. It still pumps up your account when you first make it so after a month or two you need to delete and recreate one so its still exploiting the loneliness epidemic to manipulate your psychology into giving them money but it's better than tinder I find. God this is hell.
Think like tinder and okcupid had a child
Conversations are mostly just exchanges of information about topics you have in common with the person you're talking to. Women are very autistic and limited in how they can socialize and what can they talk about, online with strangers overwhelms them completely, their autism makes them unable to socialize like you can hence bad conversations, it takes 2 talk and the women cannot do their part.
there's not much else to it except for simple things like smiling, straight back etc. that you already know
no one is good at conversations on apps because there's nothing to say there, that's why no one who ever critiques you or others ever writes what conversations they'd have, because there aren't any possible
majority of what people talk about are what they've talked about with others, they discuss their mutual social circle, what they heard someone say about someone else and then what you think of it and asking what other participant thinks and then they say something someone else they know said/did
if you want to get better at conversations you need to know more about the people in your social circle
dating apps will never ever work
if you don't have a social circle, quit work, go to school and build it there, schools also give you plenty of things to talk about which make for better conversations
Ehh i know it's hard to avoid because there are girls like this all over dating apps, but try to move the convo away from topics like this. Don't bother trying to discuss politics, religion, philosophy, or anything like that with women.
It's the other side of the coin for women who complain about men who hide their politics. We don't really do that. We just don't want to discuss that stuff with women because it's not sexy. Those are convos to have with men not women.
Keep a joking light hearted manner and try to change the subject.
yknow, its not all you. if theyre not raging with passion for ur appearance, not much u say will make a dent of difference.
I have the same problem with these dating apps but you seem to have a better grasp about what you enjoy and how to discuss educated topics. I get a large amount of matches on hinge but I've only managed to befriend one girl, who has tons of baggage and isn't worth it. The rest of my matches ghost almost immediately. Don't even ask me about tinder or bumble I rarely get matches on them. Really sucks too because I know several of my friends met their current partners on dating apps yet I can't seem to get a single date no matter the approach I give.
Alright bro let me just give you the step by step algorithm
>Youre too fucking cute
>(response)
>Do you have a clever/funny reply? If yes use it
>Do you have a clever/funny observation from her profile? if yes use it
>So how has tinder been treating you? (the only mutual experience you two have so its a natural way to build rapport
>she will say it sucks or has a lot of creeps or whatever
>you lie and say the same, lots of girls trying to bang you or whatever, you are going through a similar experience to her (lie)
>but yeah I am thinking about getting off of this. You seem great though. I will be over at X location tomorrow around X time. Would you like to join me?
She will probably say yes and if she doesnt fuck her unmatch that stupid ass retarded whore bitch cunt
farther analysis:
"Youre too fucking cute". Its a good line because you use the word fucking. But then balance it out with a word like cute instead of sexy or whatever. You are agressive and chadlike, but still have a softer side. You are filtering out bitches who are completely not open to getting fucked by using the word.
The next phase is building rapport. You are also subtly implying social proof by making her think that you are also swamped with women complimenting you.
The next phase is breaking rapport. You are also hitting her with a "limited time offer". I am getting off of this app so now is your only chance. Buy the product, sign on the dotted line bitch its now or never. Also the way that you ask her is alpha. You are implying that you are a busy guy, with shit going on, and you will allow the dumb whore to join you because she is a lucky bitch. You arent comparing shedules, and you arent giving her the power to turn you down because you are going to x location with or without her.
This is a powerful system based on pure autism and frustration. Use it wisely anon.
Is this really what a guy has to do in 2023 just to get laid? What a load of nonsense, I'd rather just go rape indiscriminately.
Going and hanging out at a bar and getting girls there is an easier way to get laid. Tinder is more of a supplement. And no you dont have to follow my script to get laid either I just think its pretty good because I spent years reading the right material and put that together.
>at no point did he think of saying “how about we chat about this and more over lunch/dinner”
OP try to set up the date ASAP after you match instead of waffling on about some boring garbage
Let me set the scene on this.
>I’m married
>she’s married
>she’s pulled her dress up and “shown” me a rash under her black thong.
>we flirt.
Thoughts on this?
> Chomsky is a libtard
Don’t bother. It’s impossible for autistic retards like you to get a girlfriend because y’all are incapable of comprehending the most basic social skills. You’re just going to make women uncomfortable.
I'd dig half of the conversation if I was them, but after a while, throwing things you like back and forth gets a bit old. You don't give her a chance to show you what's unique about her, and you don't appear interested in her personality, instead you keep trying to impress her with your intelligence. Also, I know it's a personal preference and you probably feel super manly doing it, but the lack of emoji makes the texting seem super dry.
She was clearly interested, she wrote more than you, and dragged on the boring conversation for longer than most would have. As a woman you tend to get many matches and messages, so it's easy to lose track. Just try writing her a one-liner again, maybe she'll bite.
I disagree with the anons who say you should make it sexual right away, although the way you write gives me the impression that escalation would be completely on her, if that's where she wanted it to go. Show some initiative by suggesting to do something nice together, like reading your favourite poetry to each other at the park while having a small picnic or something.
Okay maybe the poetry thing is kinda gay, idk I'm a lesbian
I have massive issues with pseudo-intellectualism. Its difficult to stop because it makes talking more bearable if it's about interesting things. I can maybe try to initiate flirting but I suck at it and there would be a learning curve
Flirting is just pushing the line of what ever two people are talking about. The goal is to see if the nature of conversation can be taken to the next level. All you have to do is find the line and subtlety push it