Paranormal humor thread

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    • #157928
      /x/ humor?
      Guest

      Paranormal humor thread

    • #157929
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >Jesus had to remain calm as he slaughtered the lambs within himself to bring out God

      • #157930
        Anonymous
        Guest

        stop pooping up every single thread, christcuck. Being an annoyance isn’t going to convince anyone to convert. Go do good works irl.

      • #157931
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Being a nuisance only drives people away from faith.
        You’re doing Satan’s work, scrote.

      • #157935
        /x/ humor?
        Guest

        Hey man, proselytizing only works on a receptive audience and I don’t think a board for the paranormal is a good spot for finding people open to Jesus.

        I’m a freaking satanist that practices jerk off magic, I don’t think you want me anyway, I will jerk off in the church when people aren’t looking at me directly, it is my power.

        • #157936
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Tell me more about jerk off magic it sounds fun

        • #157940
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >expose christ as antichrist responsible for the deaths of all mankind across all time
          >be told by satanist "I don’t think you want me"
          I learned the left hand path at a dangerous age. What you’ll learn is that you’re only surrounded by the things you’ve already learned and experienced. You jerk off so I don’t have to anymore

        • #157954
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >I’m a freaking satanist that practices jerk off magic
          Jesus is cool with that.

        • #157964
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Tell me more about jerk off magic it sounds fun

          >jerk off magic
          i dont think its the best idea to spiritualize or ritualize jerking off, like its human to masturbate but its better not to be delusional about it

      • #157938
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Shilling like this is like bursting into a room, farting and and leaving. Don’t do that please.

      • #157951
        Anonymous
        Guest

        i have no clue what that means but i thank you for pissing off the shit-eating scrotes around here

      • #157958
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I’m not even christian, but your ability to upset others made me kek.

      • #157992
        Anonymous
        Guest

        He woke af

      • #158036
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >the angry replies
        No other faith makes people this angry. No other religion causes people to become convicted in this way. They are upset because they know Jesus is the truth, and it upsets their worldly ideals. Thank you for posting anon, keep it up.

        • #158156
          Anonymous
          Guest

          No it’s because you guys are spamming your unwanted car salesman nonsense in like EVERY freaking THREAD ON EVERY SITE ON THE INTERNET like it’s the first time we’ve heard it. You’re annoying.

      • #158037
        Anonymous
        Guest

        God bless your heart, sis.

      • #158056
        Anonymous
        Guest

        woke af christ bro
        you really got the lizards riled up

      • #158058
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >Drop gay ass facebook tier post
        >Get called out for off topic, derailing
        >Reply to yourself to astroturf the perception that you are actually not somehow the biggest scrote in this thread
        Every time. The followup is always "lol i got them mad" or "i was only pretending to be scrotebrained"

      • #158067
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Crazy how hostile they get. I thought LULZ would be more accepting towards religion of all things.

        • #158147
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >(((/x/)))

      • #158068
        Anonymous
        Guest

        mhm, wishing you luck for those septs christianon

        • #158069
          Anonymous
          Guest

          I remember this one, I was in that thread

          • #158070
            Anonymous
            Guest

            nobody cares

            • #158124
              Anonymous
              Guest

              I care

        • #158077
          Anonymous
          Guest
          • #158093
            Anonymous
            Guest

            333 times three beats 8 zeros

            • #158094
              Anonymous
              Guest

              that’s why he posted it, dummy

          • #158100
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Woke af

          • #158177
            Anonymous
            Guest

            not as many (you)s, because anyone remotely awake understands the importance of christ a lot more
            Also, symbolically, 333333333 is a number that represents totality, as every number is the same. It has the same vibe as the number of the beast which is woke af on the same principle: trying to account for everything.
            300000000 is a number symbolizing the balance of all things

            • #158178
              Anonymous
              Guest

              dumbass

      • #158145
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Why are people seething so hard at this lmao, you’re doing God’s work

      • #158146
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >most of the replies are 1 person

        Thats what is truly scary.

      • #158165
        Anonymous
        Guest

        love shit like this, i’m not even going to read those replies, i’m just taking a screenshot

        • #158166
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >reddit will love this one!!!!

    • #157934
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >you will never be cradled in his strong arms
      Why even live bros.

      • #158134
        Anonymous
        Guest

        You can be

      • #158148
        Anonymous
        Guest

        god isn’t real dumbass

      • #158149
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Literally gay.

    • #157937
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #157952
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Please tell me this is real.

      • #157953
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #157956
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Kek.

        • #158025
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Wish this was real. If give granny the ol one two.

        • #158052
          Anonymous
          Guest

          This one was confirmed to be a joke.

          How exactly does one fold his or her genitals?
          Cock buried into the sack, sack held shut?

          • #158136
            Anonymous
            Guest

            How else do you propose protecting my singular batwing flap from drying out and rubbing against my undies but by folding it into my divine void, oh enlightened one?

        • #158121
          Anonymous
          Guest

          he turned black

      • #158009
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Real?

      • #158075
        Anonymous
        Guest

        tfw cant unfold my genitals

    • #157939
      Anonymous
      Guest

      i farted lol

      • #157941
        Anonymous
        Guest

        lol now THAT’S funny!

      • #157942
        Anonymous
        Guest

        i’m god but I cannot stop this man from shidding and farding his pants? What kind of hell are we in?

        • #157943
          Anonymous
          Guest

          whoa hey who said I shidded, it was just a fart dude

          • #157944
            Anonymous
            Guest

            what type of fart?

            • #157945
              Anonymous
              Guest

              the kind where i shidded a little bit

              • #157947
                Anonymous
                Guest

                OMFG LOL! imposter!!!

            • #157946
              Anonymous
              Guest

              stinky type, since it’s LULZ and im around pals not ashamed to admit i think i might have released a malevolent gaseous spirit

    • #157948
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158008
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Where can I learn more about the brown pill?

        • #158022
          Anonymous
          Guest

          here.

          • #158040
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >Guide to becoming a midwit

            • #158142
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >Kant
              >Hegel
              >midwit
              Lol

          • #158115
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >just get a tarot deck…
            >study the books written on the subject at sacred-texts

          • #158143
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >"brown pill"
            >bunch of white-pilled crap

          • #158176
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >Just start with Hegel bro
            Yeah ok…

        • #158170
          Anonymous
          Guest

          jenkem. It means inhaling ripened shit fumes.

      • #158057
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Why so many pills? It’s almost like all of these are inauthentic archetypes being pushed on people.

    • #157949
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #157957
        Anonymous
        Guest

        is this real

      • #158013
        Anonymous
        Guest

        i always laugh at this one lol

      • #158039
        Anonymous
        Guest

        This isn’t a joke tho.

      • #158043
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Hitler looks very off in this pic, like a cartoony version of himself.

      • #158046
        Anonymous
        Guest

        This one is freaking stupid, Hitler isn’t real.

    • #157950
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #157955
        Anonymous
        Guest

        test

    • #157959
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158002
        Anonymus
        Guest

        I still haven’t seen a good explanation for this.

      • #158004
        Anonymous
        Guest

        What the fuck?

      • #158064
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Ok ok. So what they did was the models were holding green books. And after post they placed the pictures over the green books.

        • #158129
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Checked. But that doesn’t explain why they’re holding the books on the cover of the book they’re holding. This has always bonked with my head, cereal boxes have it too where like the mascot is holding a cereal box and then there’s a smaller picture of the mascot holding smaller cereal box with the same image ad infinitum. It has bothered me since I was a toddler…

    • #157960
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #157969
        Anonymous
        Guest

        "Grow a pair Casper."
        Kek

      • #157986
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I actually tried provoking once. Quickly regretted it
        here’s a classic

        • #157988
          Anonymous
          Guest

          please, I need more stories like these. They sustain me.

        • #158027
          Anonymous
          Guest

          best shit ive read in awhile

    • #157961
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157962
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157963
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158049
        Anonymous
        Guest

        gets me every time

    • #157965
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158042
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I’ll do you one better

        • #158065
          Anonymous
          Guest

          That’s not real right?
          I don’t want my man door hand hook car door

      • #158152
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I am freaking spooked.

    • #157966
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #157970
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #157999
          Anonymous
          Guest

          2spooky4me

    • #157967
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158011
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Love this 0ne

    • #157968
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157971
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157972
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157973
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #157991
        Anonymous
        Guest

        The tormented wizard

        Story behind it?

      • #158029
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Woa

      • #158160
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I just now noticed how comically low to the ground the drawn couch is

    • #157974
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157975
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158061
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >officer pavel, I’m drunk

    • #157976
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #157978
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Scariest shit in this thread.

      • #158123
        Anonymous
        Guest

        do you think they did that in order to scare people? Like how Blackbeard lit matches on his beard?

      • #158127
        SAGE
        Guest
    • #157979
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157980
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158023
        Anonymous
        Guest

        11/10 would watch the proboscis cut.

        >you can tell he’s a virgin
        >analy probes Stacy’s for fun
        >virgin
        nah

        kek

      • #158038
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Weirdly the Vril reptilians are supposed to use a kind of proboscis to mind control their victim. A human.

        Donaldmarshallrevolution

      • #158050
        Anonymous
        Guest

        What the fuck, I swear 100% remember that exact same thing when I was a young kid. It looked close to pic related that I found

        • #158112
          Anonymous
          Guest
          • #158132
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Holy freaking kek!

        • #158119
          Anonymous
          Guest

          That was Clockwork Orange

        • #158164
          Anonymous
          Guest

          This is freaking horrifying, I have to learn more about this incident

          Can somebody describe the scene more closely so I can draw it?

      • #158131
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Childhood Demonic Possession Real Hahahaha sis Just Walk Away From The Screen Like sis Close Your Eyes Haha

    • #157981
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158026
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Reptilians are the sewer scum of this universe. They should all be executed ASAP.

    • #157982
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157983
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157984
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158021
        Anonymous
        Guest

        "Thlam your penith in the car door."

        "L-Leave me alone, demon!!"

      • #158171
        Anonymous
        Guest

        freaking lost it

    • #157985
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157987
      Anonymous
      Guest

      anybody have the cap of "that’s a freaking, you dumb cunt"
      wish I still had it

      • #158138
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #158159
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >people make multiple image edits of a post
          Is this the magical OC I’ve been hearing stories about?

    • #157989
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157993
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #157994
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #158034
          Anonymous
          Guest

          brevity is the soul of wit my friend

        • #158048
          Anonymous
          Guest

          brevity is the soul of wit my friend

          >when you’re an alex grey painting

        • #158114
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >he’s still on step 1

          • #158116
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Securing the keys?

      • #158001
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >science disproved religion
        Here are (your) soijaks, have a nice day.

      • #158003
        Anonymous
        Guest

        This must’ve been written by one of Bill W’s friends

    • #157995
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158096
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #158097
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Benadryl trips seem like the worst freaking time, but man am I curious if that’s accurate. I’m sensetive to it and as a kid I took too much and it felt like it sucked all the air and sound out of the house, near monochrome vision, a vignette style shadowbox on the corners of my vision, delusions of people laughing outside my window and dangling a giant spider above my head from a string on the end of a pole. Thought bats were pouring down the chimney into the house. I just wanted to make the allergies go away lol

          • #158111
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Damn. I don’t think I’ll be abusing benadryl. I’m so glad I’m not tgat desperate anymore. Now I can order shrooms online. Don’t even have to leave the house!

          • #158139
            Anonymous
            Guest

            You can’t sneeze if you’re too busy lost in the spider realm talking to your 5th grade music teacher.

          • #158161
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Its pretty horrifying but kind of fun in a way I cant explain. It kills my short term memory so I cant remember what someone says even immediately after they say it which is easily the worst part about it. The wallbreathing and every dark spot in the room turning into spiders is pretty cool. Overall I wouldnt recommend it because the potential health effects of long term or especially high dosage use is poorly documented and doesnt give me any confidence in its safety, usually internet sources vary from "theres not enough research" to "this is dangerous". Its just not worth abusing regularly imo, especially if it could cause organ damage or have long term effects on how the brain works.

    • #157996
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157997
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #157998
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158000
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158007
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Bump

    • #158015
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158016
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158017
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158018
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158126
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Cope: the image

    • #158019
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158020
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158041
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Esoteric

      • #158078
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Rippen

        • #158092
          Anonymous
          Guest

          He leanezbzbshejejfiyyxownenrbxkkxkrnn

      • #158110
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Jamiroquai get out of there, fool! The forces are too strong for ur frail body brah

        • #158117
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >jamiroquai

      • #158125
        Anonymous
        Guest

        EXPLAIN THIS!

        • #158128
          Anonymous
          Guest

          They put wheels on the outside of the walls then slid them across the floor. They would bolt furniture to the walls to make them move along with them

    • #158024
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158047
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Post the whole thing or don’t post it at all

    • #158030
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158163
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Castlevania succubi

        >> nice

    • #158031
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158035
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158081
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #158167
          Anonymous
          Guest

          What’s past the bedrock? I need to know anon!

      • #158172
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I never would have expected to see a conspiracy involving soil science. Brilliant

    • #158045
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158051
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158062
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Cringe

    • #158053
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158054
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158055
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158059
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158060
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158063
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158066
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Figure this is the place to ask: anyone have that old IQ bell curve meme about the existence of fairies?

    • #158071
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158079
        Anonymous
        Guest

        so true bestie

    • #158072
      Anonymous
      Guest

      need to repost a classic

      • #158073
        Anonymous
        Guest

        For fucks sake anon, it’s already in the thread

      • #158074
        Anonymous
        Guest

        shit didn’t see the earlier one kek

    • #158076
      NEO-DIO
      Guest

      Joseph of Yeshua:
      CELESTIAL DAD JOKES
      #00000001
      ===
      What came first?
      The Chicken,
      The Egg,
      or is there a third more valid answer?

      If anyone answers with CHICKEN or EGG;
      you say:
      "No, the COCK "CAME" FIRST (inside the CHICKEN that made the EGG!!!")

    • #158080
      Anonymous
      Guest

      […]

      What the fuck is wrong with Mormons?

    • #158082
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158083
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158084
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158085
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158086
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158087
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158088
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158089
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158090
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158091
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158095
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158101
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Why would you save some scrote double scrotes reply post instead of the image? KYS scrotebrain newscrote. Post the original chad meme without your dogshit reddit crops.

    • #158098
      Anonymous
      Guest

      The saddest LULZ meme. Grey, lyran and "aliens are demons" posters make me want to through up with my brains.

      • #158099
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #158102
          Anonymous
          Guest

          So greys are biological robots and garden gnomes are reptilians? I knew it…

          • #158109
            don't ban me i'm jewish
            Guest
          • #158113
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >Díos mio el trumperino

            • #158118
              Anonymous
              Guest

              jej

      • #158107
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I love schizo memes

    • #158104
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Save it before they shut it down

    • #158105
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158108
        Anonymous
        Guest

        RIPPED
        I
        P
        E
        N

    • #158106
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158120
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #158157
        Anonymous
        Guest

        underrated

    • #158135
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Just checking in.

    • #158137
      Devil Ned
      Guest

      Bump

    • #158140
      Anonymous
      Guest

      https://i.imgur.com/SryakO7.gif

      hehe funny cat dance

    • #158141
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158144
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158150
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Oh good, I have a folder for this.

    • #158153
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158154
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158155
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158158
      Anonymous
      Guest

      poopdixz

    • #158162
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158173
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #158175
      Higgins
      Guest

      Came back 6 years later to post this cap

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