Why do I always do this?

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      Why do I always do this? I will fall in love or what I think is love and right when everything is perfect and wonderful. I mess it it up on purpose, I break up with them or say something stupid. And I always regret it like a second later and almost always no one will forgive me because when they ask me why I did it I say “I dont know?” Then they get all mad and start yelling at me saying “What! How don’t you know!”

      Sometimes I try to explain that I have philophobia, but then they think I am some kind of freak.

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