This is the future you chose

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    • #89956
      Anonymous
      Guest

      This is the future you chose

    • #89957
      Anonymous
      Guest

      wait, he can’t start the freaking engine when the car isn’t logged in? LMAO

      • #89965
        Anonymous
        Guest

        He clearly said it’s just online services that are unavailable.
        Why is he such a bitch, can’t he drive for himself?

        • #89970
          Anonymous
          Guest

          yeah but he also said he was late for an appointment so I thought the engine didn’t start. But if it started then he is a scrotebrain.

          • #89973
            Anonymous
            Guest

            There is no way any electric car requires online connection to start the engine. You know, cars are used to drive and you can easily drive to a tunnel for example. If that was the case, burgers would definitely sue and win at masses.

            • #89983
              Anonymous
              Guest

              > He doesn’t know

            • #89995
              Anonymous
              Guest
              • #90011
                Anonymous
                Guest

                This is a Bs image. You get this if you start the update then reboot or do some stupid Shit so it doesn’t finish the update. If he would have just used the car in a normal fashion, this would never happen.

                • #90013
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >Start car
                  >Begins updating
                  >Need to jump out of car real quick to do something, don’t want it stolen, turn off car so nobody can steal it
                  >Hop back in
                  >Attempt to turn it back on
                  >I’m afraid I can’t let you do that Dave

                  • #90098
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    >start software update that explicitly says you need to leave it on for 5 minutes while it does its job to ensure a working car
                    >act scrotebrained and shut it off
                    >why does it not work now?
                    no sympathy for the willfully stupid.

                    • #90246
                      Anonymous
                      Guest

                      >you cant leave the car for 5 minutes because of a software update
                      do you really defend this?? are you insane?

                  • #90210
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    kek

                • #90016
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  cope

                • #90022
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >You’re holding it wrong
                  Car-edition

                • #90051
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >sis why did you use the tesla like a car?
                  >this wouldnt have happened if you just knew what not to do

                • #90078
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >werks on my machine-car edition
                  oh no no no

                • #90125
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >you will not have problems if you dont use this car for car-like purposes
                  kys chud

            • #90026
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >There is no way any electric car requires online connection to start the engine
              sweet summer child…
              https://www.autoevolution.com/news/tesla-model-s-driver-gets-stuck-in-the-desert-and-it-s-not-why-you-might-think-114748.html
              it already happened and will happen again, tesla also has remote access to every single car, they can disable features in real-time and they can start and drive it from the internet.

              Do not buy Volkswagen cars, they’re absolute shit now

              >Do not buy new cars, they’re absolute shit now
              ftfy
              the future of cars is extremely grim…

              • #90027
                Anonymous
                Guest

                >Ryan returned with the key and vowed never to leave without it again.
                He literally just forgot his keys. It starts offline normally if you have keys, just like any car.

                • #90052
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >He literally just forgot his keys. It starts offline normally if you have keys, just like any car.
                  he had his key. the app was the key. he lost phone connection and now he has no key. really huge design oversight that their freaking app doesn’t communicate directly with the car.

                  • #90053
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    >No, Ryan Negri was very close to becoming the subject of a rescue operation after he decided to take his wife and two dogs on a trip through the desert in their Model S and left his key fob at home.
                    >After driving six miles into the desert, Ryan got out to adjust the dog bed, but once he had gotten out of the driver’s seat, the car needed to be restarted again for them to continue their journey. Which, in the absence of both a key fob and cell phone connection, was impossible. As was calling for help.
                    No, he left his keys (fob) at home. You’re right about the app not communicating directly with the car, however.

                    • #90084
                      Anonymous
                      Guest

                      >The app was the key
                      Learn to read scrote

                  • #90054
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    It’s not an oversight, it’s a feature. Think about what the powers that be gain from the situation.

            • #90112
              Anonymous
              Guest

              I work in car industry software development.
              I absolutely assure you this is 100% a thing which can happen and is happening.

              • #90113
                Anonymous
                Guest

                Which model does this?

            • #90148
              Anonymous
              Guest

              NDA motherfucka.

          • #90000
            Anonymous
            Guest

            probably depends on the navigation

        • #89979
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Learn to read. Isn’t it obvious that you need to be logged in to use your horn and turn signals?

          • #89992
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Pretty sure this would be illegal in the USA thanks to our glowie friends at the NTSB

          • #90001
            Anonymous
            Guest

            never let techies design the car

          • #90018
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >you can drive
            >but you can’t use the turn signals :^)
            Peak german engineering

          • #90056
            Anonymous
            Guest

            what the fuck

            • #90253
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >what the fuck
              A modern car has passed all the controls to the car computer system, so rather than having mechanical switches that engage and disengage to make the turn signal flash the computer does it. The car’s entertainment system computer creates the sound of the turn signal clicking but it also times the signal lights. No log in to the car computer system and no signal or horn.

          • #90060
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >be consoomist
            >forget car password
            >go to get the groceries
            >turn left to get to the parking lot
            >sudden bystander walks up to you and asks you why you didn’t have the turn signals on
            >explain to bystander that you forgot your account password and so you can’t use the turn signals
            >bystander takes it as bullshit and moves on
            >later on. Need to go on a hurry at night
            >can’t turn headlights on
            >cross fingers and drive relying on the street lighting
            >cop suddenly pulls you over
            >cop ask you why you didn’t have your headlights on
            >you explain him you can’t use the car headlights just because you forgot your car account password
            >cop takes it as bullshit and proceeds to call a tow on your car and suspend your driving license
            >all because of a nitpick hipster "feature" that nobody asked for
            and now do the same for citizens and see how it goes

          • #90068
            Anonymous
            Guest

            in another reply he said it’s the remote-only horn and turnsignal function that is disabled, not when driving normally

            • #90070
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >remote-only horn and turnsignal function
              Why is this a freaking thing

              • #90071
                Anonymous
                Guest
                • #90073
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  I fukkin love this dude. He’s somehow metro without being a scrote about it

                  • #90158
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    His social media is very scrotegy

                  • #90252
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    he wrote the definition on the word scrote.

                  • #90267
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    He’s clearly homosexual. Maybe even a pedo. But apart from that he’s great, you have to separate the art from the artist.

                • #90092
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >you just can’t get your turn signal to sync up with the car in front of you
                  This is the most autistic thing I have ever heard

                  • #90150
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    autism site

            • #90118
              Anonymous
              Guest

              this

              I have the same system in my car, and you can use all features to drive properly with the system even completely turned off.

              It’s shit software, no doubt, but it actually doesnt stop you from driving ever.

          • #90085
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >apple music
            Man every time, itoddlers btfo

          • #90201
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >signal turns with your arm
            >make a stop at the store to get an airhorn

          • #90225
            Anonymous
            Guest

            It’s a feature to turn on the hazards and honk the horn via the app, i.e. if you can’t find your car in the car park or want to scare someone away from your car.
            The turn signals and horn work perfectly fine while driving…

            >t. scrote, who drives his aunt’s brand new ID4 from time to time.

          • #90255
            Anonymous
            Guest

            imagine being deplatformed from your car

        • #90213
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >horn
          >turn signals
          >these are online services
          I hope your autonomous car runs you over

      • #90170
        Anonymous
        Guest

        *gets banned and now has a useless hunk of metal in his driveway*

    • #89958
      Anonymous
      Guest

      i would torch it

    • #89959
      Anonymous
      Guest

      the problem owning fancy german car instead of 1980 swedish car

      • #89969
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >Volkswagen
        >fancy
        it’s quite literally "the people’s automobile"

        • #90034
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >the goyim’s automobile
          FTFY

          • #90143
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >>the goyim’s automobile

            […]

            it wasn’t one of uncle adolf inventions so that every german family can have a car
            freaking scrotebrain

            • #90146
              Anonymous
              Guest

              pretty sure ford shilled that idea to his penpal adolf not the other way around. otherwise woke af heads up.

            • #90209
              Anonymous
              Guest

              VW is most goyim brand there is, I consider every Golf owner a 100% NPC automaton.

        • #90183
          Anonymous
          Guest

          well la-de-da mr park avenue manicure

      • #89971
        Anonymous
        Guest

        (gucci loafers)

      • #89984
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >lock & unlock
        >horn & turn signals
        why are people buying cars that can lock your out of essential functions because you forgot your password?

        woke af, love my old volvo

        • #89988
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >why are people buying cars that can lock your out of essential functions because you forgot your password?
          consoomers gotta consoom

        • #90025
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >why are people buying cars that can lock your out of essential functions
          scrotes don’t read the fine print.

        • #90080
          Anonymous
          Guest

          they think they’re saving the environment but since technology companies are gradually implementing more terrifying and privacy invading features with complex explanations that the average normalscrote wont understand they get bonked over and spend all this money on a car that can just lock them out of basic functions whenever

      • #89986
        Anonymous
        Guest

        woke af volvo enjoyer

      • #89999
        Anonymous
        Guest

        volvochads, rise up! what are we driving fellas?

        • #90008
          Anonymous
          Guest

          2018 V60 D3

          • #90208
            Anonymous
            Guest

            BOLISI? :DDDDDDD

        • #90168
          Anonymous
          Guest

          This thread is property of the Volvo 240 gang

        • #90251
          Anonymous
          Guest

          2006 V70 2.4 5D

        • #90257
          Anonymous
          Guest

          2004 XC70 station wagon, love it. Repair costs are brutal though.

      • #90091
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >VW
        >Fancy

        Can’t tell if bait or you’re stupid. The only good German cars were made 30-40 years ago, anything newer has a Bible of problems or can’t handle extra power.

      • #90120
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Well well, Look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car!

      • #90132
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Woke af SAAB enjoyer

      • #90197
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Volvo drivers are the most scrotebrained drivers in existance. Either they have zero road knowledge like your average soccer-mom, or they believe they are god re-incarnated and own the road. I’ll take a BMW driver over a Volvo driver any day.

    • #89960
      Anonymous
      Guest

      you don’t need to post the gay flag with that face

      • #89963
        Anonymous
        Guest

        He does if he wants to generate maximum (you)’s.

        And it will work. LULZ is nothing if not predictable.

    • #89961
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I drive a manual transmission that has no LCDs or other bullshit. It costs less money and never makes me late for anything. So no, I chose my future and it’s working out fine.

      • #89968
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Lol this. My car has a 2×1 inch analog clock, and a stereo. Thats all.
        Anything I have ever needed to fix on this car has been done in my garage, using a tool box and wrench set.

      • #90040
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #90076
          Anonymous
          Guest

          i drive an 80s porsche you turbo scrote

        • #90093
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Sorry OMG, but what do you drive that isn’t a meme tier shitbox?

        • #90129
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Wrong, they are motor-heads who love to tweak with cars and hate all of the modern computers and electronics they are designed to obfuscate the workings of your vehicle to ensure that you forced to take it to the dealership and built with planned obsolescence with mind.
          It is peak coomsumer non-sense. IOT is 100% pure cancer that needs to stop.

          • #90212
            Anonymous
            Guest

            woke af

        • #90243
          Anonymous
          Guest

          what makes you think im poor? if my car stopped working i would buy a new one. wasting your money is how you become poor, friend

          • #90245
            Anonymous
            Guest

            That depends on how you define wasting. A new car will always cost more than fixing the one you have even if you have to rebuild engine and transmission.
            It only makes sense financially if you are always on a consuming cycle of selling the old car to buy a new one after two or three years. In which case you’d still be spending more than keeping an old car.

        • #90261
          Anonymous
          Guest

          you drive the top spec prius.

    • #89962
      Anonymous
      Guest

      what the fuck

      • #90166
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Perfect response

    • #89964
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >It’s lane assist

      • #90002
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >this
        >the dilemma
        >the car
        >the name tag
        all checks out

    • #89966
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What kind of a password requires 15 minutes of entering

      • #89967
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Apparently his password manager requires a 15 minute wait. I have never in my life heard of such a thing. It’s like he’s just making up shit to complain about.

        • #90190
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Hes saying it took 15 minites to type the long ass pwd into the car.

    • #89972
      Anonymous
      Guest

      There’s no choice short of a violent revolution, they just stop selling the better one.

    • #89974
      Anonymous
      Guest

      serves the homo right for buying a homo car

    • #89975
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I live in a shithole where it is mandatory to scrap cars older than 25 years. My next car will probably be a botnet with it’s own internet connection. Not feeling very good.

      • #89980
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Where the fuck do you live

      • #89981
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >it is mandatory to scrap cars older than 25 years
        lmao, move

      • #90030
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Cali?

        • #90050
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Impossible. I live in socal and have seen a fair share of street legal 70s cars. I’ve even seen JDMs, though most people just register them in Arizona instead since its cheaper.

    • #89976
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Do not buy Volkswagen cars, they’re absolute shit now

      • #89977
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >now
        They were colossal money pits back in the 2000s when not a single soul at the company could into electronics. Fortunately, Porsche has been spared their incompetence so far.

        • #89982
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Why does everyone say porsche electrical is utter shit then? I wouldn’t know personally, I prefer cars that aren’t money pits and crime magnets.

          • #90107
            Anonymous
            Guest

            german cars in general have shit electrics, but porsche has always been the exception that proved the rule. I haven’t owned a recent porsche though, maybe the german eletrical gremlins finally got to them as well.

            • #90126
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >german cars in general have shit electrics
              Laughs in Italian cars

    • #89978
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I wonder how this shit is gonna work in 30 years
      Of course it’s some European shitbox so they probably aren’t thinking that far ahead

      I know GM in particular has contingences in place for dealing with security vulnerabilities that far down the line

      • #90119
        Anonymous
        Guest

        GM can’t even do batteries properly, all american cars = crap

    • #89985
      Anonymous
      Guest

      No it’s not.

      • #89996
        Anonymous
        Guest

        unironically thinking about buying one redpill me on the lada

        • #90004
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Basically the same design from the 70’s, with lower emissions and a more rust-proof body. Diff-lock and 4wd are activated via levers, no electronic bullshit. Electric windows and a rifle rack are available as options. Engine is nothing to write home about, fine in low-range for offroad and hauling, won’t set any speed records. Basically cheap and cheerful offroader without too many bells and whistles. Parts are pretty cheap too, replacing my entire exhaust line set me back 20 euros.

          • #90029
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >no electronic bullshit
            we need more cars like this, I don’t understand why people can’t see how shit the future will be if manufacturers continue to add more electronics
            new cars like tesla or the newer bmw with microtransactions are literally smartphones with wheels, you buy it but the manufacturer still owns it, you’re in a perpetual leasing even though you already paid for it and you will never be allowed to touch the electronic because muh safety or whatever garbage reason they will find. I’m not even talking about the botnet and cars driving themselves back to manufacturers if you miss one payment for whatever reason.
            no more good and reliable knob, you can’t change the radio, you can’t repair the AC, plastic is stitched with ultrasound so you can only break it if you want to remove it and on and on and on…
            it’s an perpetual nightmare made so you want to change car more often and to make it so you can’t resell it at a good price and will consider giving it back to them so they can fix it for the third-world markets and make even more money at your expend.

            >Ryan returned with the key and vowed never to leave without it again.
            He literally just forgot his keys. It starts offline normally if you have keys, just like any car.

            why give the option to start it without hte key if you may not be able to start the engine if you lose gps signal? this looks like a massive oversight from tesla and you should be able to start YOUR car with your smartphone even without internet/gps…

            • #90031
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >why give the option to start it without hte key if you may not be able to start the engine if you lose gps signal?
              Because they can. It’s an added functionality for convenience, not a limitation to standard car functionality.
              Opening car using phone without online connection might pose a security risk or maybe there is another technical reason behind it. Either way, it’s irrelevant because you can always use your keys.

              • #90090
                Anonymous
                Guest

                >Because they can.
                so?
                it’s not a reason to add arbitrary limitations.
                absolutely nothing can justify doing a garbage job like this, it’s either a bugs or a oversight, there is no freaking way it’s on purpose.
                if it is then tesla execs should worry about management doing a garbage job as it will bit their asses hard at some point, in which world does this shit pass QA…
                >lmaooooooooo you park your car under floor level in a parking lot with a lot of bad boy concrete around you? it’s your unlucky day buddy
                tell me this isn’t some programming 101 oversight…
                atleast it’s inline with the trillions of ex-engineers/managers (very high turnover because it’s a garbage place to work at as it’s a musk company) who described this hellhole and how it’s a miracle that the company still exists

                • #90095
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >it’s not a reason to add arbitrary limitations.
                  It’s not a limitation. The base for a car is that you open it with your keys. They didn’t removed or limited that in any way. All they did was to add a feature where you can also open the car over the internet using your phone.
                  It’s like saying that they are adding arbitrary limitation because you can’t use self driving features off-road. Self driving was meant to be used on roads, and it’s an added feature. Just because it’s not solution that does everything you want, doesn’t meant it’s a limitation.

                  • #90100
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    >All they did was to add a feature where you can also open the car over the internet using your phone.
                    and why the fuck would they prevent you from opening the car if you don’t have gps connectivity?
                    it just does not make any sense…
                    >It’s like saying that they are adding arbitrary limitation because you can’t use self driving features off-road. Self driving was meant to be used on roads, and it’s an added feature. Just because it’s not solution that does everything you want, doesn’t meant it’s a limitation.
                    what in the name of fuck are you talking about, opening and starting your car are CORE features, it has NOTHING to do with autopilot…
                    if they allow you to start your car with your smartphone it have to work as long as the car and the smartphones are working, there is nothing else to add, this is common sense and I can’t believe you still find shit to argue about… Do you ahve tesla shares? why defend this obviously garbage and unreliable feature? I haven’t check but it would not surprise me if it was fixed and you could start your car without any gps connectivity on either the car or the phone…

                    I will never understand why people spend 100k ns a rolling botnet and expect nothing from a reliablity, build quality and safety points of view, the fuck is wrong with them…
                    no wonder companies are selling us trash all day long including foods, we get what we deserve…

                    • #90101
                      Anonymous
                      Guest

                      >and why the fuck would they prevent you from opening the car if you don’t have gps connectivity?
                      >it just does not make any sense…
                      They don’t prevent you from opening car. You open the car with your keys, just like every other car.
                      Opening car over internet is an another feature that other cars don’t have and it obviously requires internet to work.

                      >what in the name of fuck are you talking about, opening and starting your car are CORE features, it has NOTHING to do with autopilot…
                      You can open it with your keys.

                      >why defend this obviously garbage and unreliable feature?
                      Because your criticism doesn’t make sense.

            • #90141
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >why they put electronic in a car?
              because profit. A car with no electronics (outside of radios and signals) could cost only 5,000 USD or less. The average new car price in 2021 is closer to $40,000 USD.

              • #90147
                Anonymous
                Guest

                I know why they do it, I just don’t understand why everyone is so passive when globohomos are stripping them from various freedoms all the freaking time…
                some scrotebrains stormed the capital because of FUD but when an real totalitarian dystopia is getting in place noone in moving a finger…
                it’s about freaking time to realize that the gvt is nothing more than a scapegoat and the real power is held by the garbage companies that sell us garbage products…

                • #90160
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  what are you gonna do, forbid car manufacturers from putting features in their cars?
                  thats izlamig gommunizm, cant have that

                  • #90185
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    I’m just gonna cry in a corner and avoid this scrotebraination

          • #90061
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Fuck I’m jealous, in ‘Murica the cheapest offroader you can get brand new is a freaking gayed up jeep.

        • #90019
          Anonymous
          Guest

          You know how every hipster is pissing himself over the Jimny? Well, Niva is the original Jimny for 1/3 of the price. It’s extremely good in offroading. In fact, it’s the best offroader for the price. It’s simple, so you can fix it, if you are not a city-dwelling hipster with tiny hands and can use a tool. Parts are cheap af. The only real problems are – it’s not that comfortable and it rusts.

        • #90102
          Anonymous
          Guest

          its basically the thinkpad of offroaders

        • #90105
          Anonymous
          Guest

          It’s absolute trash with no support from manufacturer and it will most likely kill you in a head-on collision.

        • #90133
          Anonymous
          Guest
      • #90228
        Anonymous
        Guest

        If that thing can actually offroad, sell me on it.

    • #89987
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >want to pick up pizza
      >my car locks up asking me to login to non-free serve
      >tfw the botnet wants me to starve

    • #89989
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >Volkswagen
      Yeah, truly the people’s car (the people at the top of the company)

    • #89990
      Anonymous
      Guest

      We need to go back tech wise. Remove all that smartpoz shit and only keep a few microcontrollers to manage essential safety functions like ABS brake activation

      • #90086
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >ABS
        Bloat, its a crutch for shit drivers, you can get much better braking and cornering without abs

      • #90222
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Chip shortage will probably end up making manufacturers consider going back to mechanical systems instead of relying on magic black boxes that only chinks can make.

    • #89991
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >smart cars keeping scrotes off the road
      Seems pretty woke af to me. Do you feel threatened by this, OP? Could it be that you are a scrote?

    • #89993
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >scrote flag
      >is scrotebrained
      >uses normie tech
      i am surprised

    • #89994
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >buying a car which electronics extend beyond the ECU

    • #89997
      Anonymous
      Guest

      pedophile scrote with globohomo botnet car

      • #90250
        Anonymous
        Guest

        you forgot to start with: "siri chromecast to tv"

    • #89998
      Anonymous
      Guest

      reminds me of this

      cars as a service… this future is a mistake

      • #90124
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Couldn’t he just push the car off the road like a normal person would instead of holding up traffic so he could post to Twitter about it? Average Tesla mindset.

        • #90149
          Anonymous
          Guest

          How much do you bet the wheels and stering wheel lock?

        • #90163
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >Couldn’t he just push the car off the road like a normal person
          car was completely locked, he couldn’t get it into neutral. apparently this is common in EVs

          tow service had to drag the car onto the flatbed

        • #90220
          Anonymous
          Guest

          A lot of newer vehicles have their clutch electrically powered so when the car dies it can be impossible to put into neutral without a mobile technician from the dealership.
          t. CAA/AAA dispatcher

        • #90221
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Electric cars sometimes lock up entirely when they break down. I’ve seen it at least 3 times in the wild and was one of the reasons I don’t want an EV at the prices their charging.

        • #90231
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >going 60mph
          >vehicle locks up
          >"Yeah sis lemme push the car off the road now"

    • #90003
      Anonymous
      Guest

      DRIVING DIVERSITY

    • #90006
      Anonymous
      Guest

      he could consider not being an absolute scrotebrain. even my heaviest "64 characters of upper and lower case letters numbers and symbols" passwords take 5 minutes max to type in, even on annoying interfaces. what in the flying fuck did he set up that needs a whole ass quarter hour to enter

    • #90007
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >password manager requires 15 minutes
      what?

    • #90009
      Anonymous
      Guest

      You know things are bad when the future from Blade Runner 2049 feels more preferable than what’s going on now. Sure they live in a dystopia too but at least in their world things function autonomously enough that they would need a physical access to get data out of your robot waifu while in real life that shit would’ve been all already archived on the company’s server.

      • #90207
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Tfw you now actually WANT to live in the fictional cyberpunk worlds. I get you.

    • #90012
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I drive a freaking WRX, I didn’t choose this feature.

      • #90038
        Anonymous
        Guest

        legitimately one of the worst cars ever made

    • #90014
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >be driving to work
      >car shuts down
      >get fired
      >life ruined
      YAAAS I LOVE TECHNOLOGY

    • #90015
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Reminds me of this gem.

      • #90062
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >You will live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension.

      • #90122
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Why does this seem more and more plausible each passing day?

        • #90135
          Anonymous
          Guest

          All satire will become reality. This is our future.

      • #90162
        Anonymous
        Guest

        McDonald’s!

      • #90194
        Anonymous
        Guest

        ffs this is too funny

      • #90211
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I love this.
        Thanks anon, you made my day.

      • #90214
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Learn to read. Isn’t it obvious that you need to be logged in to use your horn and turn signals?

        jesus freaking christ the madman was right again

    • #90017
      Anonymous
      Guest

      His problem is buying VAG. VAG are complete shit and all have terrible design. I am not even memeing. All designers at VAG are freaking terrible. Their cars are ugly outside and even more ugly inside with no freaking buttons. Even the wheel "buttons" are touch shit. Even their soft designers are shit. Look at OP’s image. freaking sound buttons are a touchbar, for fuck’s sake. You gotta be the cuckiest cuck to buy a VAG car.

      • #90184
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Golf VI is neat. Touch only on the entertainment.
        But the new and improved VII?
        WTF? At least all the reviews are giving them shit for it.
        Outside also looks like ass.

    • #90021
      Anonymous
      Guest

      And I thought having bluetooth on my Jetta was a bit too much. Oh well, it has a manual transmission.

    • #90024
      Anonymous
      Guest

      nice icon next his scrote name, I wish his car had killed him

      • #90067
        Anonymous
        Guest

        he/him

        • #90072
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >NL
          that explains everything

        • #90077
          Anonymous
          Guest

          imagine unironically wearing a cyber hoodie, that’s more of a scrote move than any literal scrotery

        • #90104
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >I VOID WARRANTIES FOR A LIVING
          >Hardware Hacker
          >owns a factory stock botnet car
          topjej

        • #90238
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Why would anyone advertise this level of scrotery? What the fuck is in the water in the Netherlands?

        • #90241
          Anonymous
          Guest

          are all dutch mentally ill?

    • #90028
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Fatass cager deserved it

    • #90032
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >letting the botnet into your home
      >letting the botnet into your car
      you wanted this. Enjoy.

    • #90033
      Anonymous
      Guest

      My hippocampus is my password manager

    • #90035
      Anonymous
      Guest

      > It’s

      • #90203
        Anonymous
        Guest

        How did you get this picture of me? Please delete this

    • #90036
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >lock and unlock
      >horn and turn signals
      that can’t be legal

    • #90037
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I’m keeping my Twingo forever

      • #90063
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Can I see pics of your Twingo please? UwU

        • #90064
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Sure

          • #90065
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Beautiful!

            • #90066
              Anonymous
              Guest

              Thanks, it’s a great little car and I’m planning on keeping it around for a long time

          • #90096
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Very nice <3

          • #90099
            Anonymous
            Guest

            woke af twingo enjoyer

    • #90039
      Anonymous
      Guest

      how does volkswagen manage to screw up another generation of cars

    • #90041
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Does anyone still make normal (analog) cars?

      • #90042
        Anonymous
        Guest

        not since the 70’s
        you probably wouldn’t want one anyway, have you ever drive a care with no power steering?

        • #90043
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >drive a care
          driven a car
          still waking up

          • #90046
            Anonymous
            Guest

            CAN’T WAKE UP

        • #90108
          Anonymous
          Guest

          quite a few of us are oldscrotes who have, in point of fact, driven cars with no power steering. you get used to it after a few days and don’t even notice unless you’re trying to turn the wheel while completely stationary.

          • #90109
            Anonymous
            Guest

            My Ford Escort was light enough that I hardly even noticed it when completely stationary. My current BMW E39, on the other hand, I’d have to lean on the steering wheel to get it to budge if the engine isn’t running…

    • #90044
      Anonymous
      Guest

      thank god I’m brazilian and hi tech shit will never outshine our beetles and kombis

    • #90045
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Yet another example and reminder of the fact that most humans alive on the earth today will NEVER understand fragility, risk, how to accomplish a task and why adding more pointless, perilous shit for no real returns is a simple ruse to gain more power over people. Basically your average schmuck, and anyone with a pride flag about them is just that, is basically BRED to not get these things.

    • #90049
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Daily reminder this is caused by the brain rot caused by webdev shit. Webdev has been a net negative for humanity.

    • #90055
      Anonymous
      Guest

      This is what zoomers want. Micro transactions shitty login etc. They are actually scrotebrained remember that. New devs like this too. It’s wave of scrotebrained web shit into everything.

    • #90057
      Anonymous
      Guest

      > This is the future you chose
      nah

    • #90059
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >scrote flag
      >twitter
      >computer car
      cool don’t care

    • #90069
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Luxury is dead.

    • #90074
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Mechanical>DIGITAL MEMES.

    • #90075
      Anonymous
      Guest

      well la dee da mr gucci loafers in your fancy german car

    • #90081
      Anonymous
      Guest

      bump

    • #90083
      Anonymous
      Guest

      /o/ldscrote here I’ve gone back to my 20-11yo shitboxes that have none of this shit 250hp 400nm and good gas mileage on the highway 25mpg+ on premiem dude
      Fuck This ev cars as a service bs

    • #90087
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >late for my appointment
      >let me spend 5 minutes taking pictures and writing a tweet about this
      Daily reminder to ignore all twitter users and hide all twitter threads

      • #90088
        Anonymous
        Guest

        He might have taken the pictures and then composed the tweet after the fact.

    • #90089
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >hardware hacker

    • #90094
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I drive a ten year old Fiat Panda and it’s better than I expected when I boughtit.

    • #90103
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >i’m late for an appointment
      >opens twitter
      >types giant tweet and then takes 3+ photos of each screen
      >needing 15min to enter a password on a touch screen keyboard

    • #90106
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >can still drive car
      >already late
      >better not just freaking drive

      Omg guys i’m late for work and when i opened twitter it wanted me to log in wtf so i had to open my password manager and that takes 15min!!!!

    • #90110
      Anonymous
      Guest
    • #90111
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >password manager requires 15 minutes of entering

    • #90114
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >volkswagen
      nazi bullshit

    • #90115
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #90224
        Anonymous
        Guest

        DELET DIS

    • #90116
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Don’t buy that car then :^)

    • #90117
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Cars are a service too.

    • #90121
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I wish the car simply crashed itself with him in it.

    • #90123
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #90128
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Now this is the future where I will devote the rest of my life to subvert and black out those services, be it my knowledge or donations.
        I 100% do not want to live if this will become a reality in my lifetime.

        • #90130
          Anonymous
          Guest

          It’s already happening. Check out any "smart home" system and weep. And it’s not going to slow down anytime soon.

          • #90136
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >It’s already happening
            Not in my life. I know some "people" posted about freezing during Google blackout when Nest lost connectivity to servers, either way this form of trust to Google etc. is opt-in and looks extreme.

            • #90145
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >posted about freezing during Google blackout when Nest lost connectivity to servers
              How is this even possible? What kind of embedded programmer makes their device just stop working if it loses connectivity? There’s zero reason why it couldn’t keep regulating the local temperature according to the last known temperature setting just because it can’t fetch the latest setting from garden gnomegle’s servers.

              • #90159
                Anonymous
                Guest

                pajeet webshit programmers don’t know how to do things locally, they need servers

      • #90137
        Anonymous
        Guest

        The machine spirits will permeate every part of the emperium of man and only god-emperor cerficied techpriests will be able to legally communicate with them

      • #90138
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Nope, it’ll be an economic failure. It is near-slighted coomsumer-tards and con-artist traders that are pushing this shit for short-term gains and will jump ship when it bellies up.

    • #90127
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Why are self-identified "hackers" the most cringey and gullible people on the planet? It reminds me if the guy who makes videos on telephone scammers who got locked out of his YouTube account by a Pajeet.

    • #90131
      Anonymous
      Guest

      My car doesnt use any electricity besides spark plugs
      t. UAZ owner

    • #90134
      Anonymous
      Guest

      You can just log in with the factory default passwords.
      I have a few for the major european car companies:
      Peugeot, Citroen and Renault
      "I Surrender"
      Volvo and Saab
      "Refugees welcome"
      Mercedes, BMW and Volkswagen
      "Hitler did nothing wrong"

    • #90139
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >bottom left: "Zonder We Connect rijden"
      >literal "Without We Connect driving"
      >aka "Drive Without We Connect"
      he could just select that and drive off. what a whiner.

    • #90142
      Anonymous
      Guest

      YGWYFD

    • #90144
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >Dutch
      >scrote
      Checks out.

    • #90151
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Can we just go back to when you had the option of buying a point A to point B vehicle that had only the bare essentials in it that cost almost nothing in comparison to the scrotemobiles that came pre-installed with a bunch of useless bullshit? Yeah having heated seats and 500 cameras is cool and all but I’d rather be able to wildly wreck a hundred junkers in the span of a year for the same price of some metrosexual chevy that’ll break down within 3 months because the humbledinger slipped and cut into the shibbybop, spewing acidic fruplejuice all over the transmission.

      • #90258
        Anonymous
        Guest

        i wish for a phone with no os too anon, you tell me if that sounds likely to happen

    • #90152
      Anonymous
      Guest

      That’s why I use passwords like zaqwsx123 in work

    • #90153
      Anonymous
      Guest

      https://i.imgur.com/nqPvE3G.gif

      >tfw transhumanists will face the same problems

      • #90154
        Anonymous
        Guest

        The saddest thing is we’re gonna be living in a full blown cyberpunk dystopia soon, but won’t even get to become cool cyborgs without putting up with crap like that.

      • #90157
        Anonymous
        Guest

        only if they buy their bionics from (((big tech))), you don’t seriously think that there wouldn’t be an underground scene with transhumanism just like there is with every other form of tech?

        • #90173
          Anonymous
          Guest

          There’s not even an underground "scene" that can mess with CAN-BUS on cars. You think they’re going to figure out how to make non-botnet cyborg shit?

          • #90175
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >There’s not even an underground "scene" that can mess with CAN-BUS on cars.
            There is, though. There are even guys out there reprogramming their ECUs more or less from scratch.

            • #90176
              Anonymous
              Guest

              ECUs aren’t in CAN-BUS. Look into putting an aftermarket head unit into a modern car. It’s either impossible or if you can you lose all the functionality of the head unit besides the sound system.

              • #90177
                Anonymous
                Guest

                Also, just look at Windows, there isn’t a de-botneded Windows build except Window ameliorated which looses a lot of functionality. And they only reason you can get cracked windows is because it’s easy for people to steal and sell bulk keys for it. It probably won’t be that easy on to do on super expensive robotic arms and shit.

              • #90188
                Anonymous
                Guest

                >ECUs aren’t in CAN-BUS
                Sure they are, that’s even how ODB units communicate with them, normally.

          • #90179
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Hackers are concerned with "fighting fascism," meaning they spend all their time doxxing scrotebrained boomers on Parler, Gab or Epik. They’re much too busy to take on multinational corporations like Microsoft, Google or Amazon.

            • #90266
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >tfw you fight fascism by doing freelance intelligence gathering on the government’s political enemies

        • #90178
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Xbox One still hasn’t been cracked. Transhumanism will have a monthly subscription, ads and updates that brick your enhancements.

          • #90180
            Anonymous
            Guest

            uncracked because why bother when you can just pay for dev mode

        • #90259
          Anonymous
          Guest

          YES, THIS IS THE YEAR OF GNU+LIVER

    • #90155
      Anonymous
      Guest

      LULZ laughs at this but i bet some of you scrotes use software as a service or even worse, cloud computing

    • #90156
      Anonymous
      Guest

      we need to go back to pure analogue tech that runs entirely on levers, switches, dials and pistons

    • #90161
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >buying a new car
      ask me how I know this queer is NGMI

    • #90164
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >BUT IT JUST WORKS!!!!!!

      Tech was a mistake

    • #90165
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >get a Logan
      >perfect balance between comfort and driving
      >while Renault’s shitty electronics last at least, then it’s just an expensive boring cage
      I’ll just enjoy it for now.

    • #90167
      Anonymous
      Guest

      that’s like a temporary mobile phone charging station at an airport between connecting flights

    • #90169
      Anonymous
      Guest

      oh, fuck sis. That sucks, dude.
      I just turn a key, put it in first and drive off.

    • #90172
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I have a 1992 Jeep, it has a 2Mhz MC68HC11A1 CPU and 256 bytes of memory. I have owned this vehicle since 1996. only cucks own a vehicle made after 2000.

    • #90182
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >scrote flag
      Woke af car trying to kill that sodomite

    • #90186
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >Wtf?! I need a key to get into my car? This is literally 1984

    • #90187
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >15 mins on a password manager
      FOSS mf’s really do this to themselves.

    • #90189
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >you
      I own a 15 year old stick honda crv. I had no part in this shit.

    • #90191
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Humans drivers kill more humans than self-driving cars do right now, but self-driving cars will eventually kill all humans.

    • #90192
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Here’s what I do in this situation, I get in my car, turn the key and start driving, crazy huh!?!?

      • #90200
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Until your car decides you can’t do that. After all, it knows what is best for you.

        • #90233
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Future cars will refuse to start if in need of a scheduled service, but the message in your pic is just downshift protection in performance cars with sequential gearbox

          • #90260
            Anonymous
            Guest

            That’s a V6 Camaro from 10 years ago.

        • #90262
          Anonymous
          Guest

          That’s not an issue in my shitty ass 1995 civic…

    • #90196
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Fuck.. I was thinking of buying an ID.3 in a year or two.
      Is there a SINGLE electric car that isn’t 100% pozzed? I’m not even an ecoscrote I just don’t want to pay for gas and maintenance.

      • #90198
        Anonymous
        Guest

        You’re still going to be paying for maintenance fren,.

      • #90199
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Even if you pay for gas and maintenance you’d still save thousands of dollars over the lifetime of the vehicle. The upfront price premium for all-electric is still absurd.
        You can buy a goddamn BMW 5-series for the price of a Model 3 and get an actually luxurious interior.

      • #90215
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >Is there a SINGLE electric car that isn’t 100% pozzed?

      • #90223
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >Is there a SINGLE electric car that isn’t 100% pozzed?
        Verification not required.

        • #90226
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Oy vey, we just noticed your car doesn’t have a safety inspection sticker. Care to explain yourself, citizen?

          • #90269
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Nothing safe about it officer!

    • #90218
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >say n word
      >can no longer drive your car
      Defend this

      • #90219
        Anonymous
        Guest

        i

      • #90248
        Anonymous
        Guest

        My Nissan

    • #90227
      Anonymous
      Guest

      soon all devices (fridge, tv, toaster)
      will become subscription services
      dont pay $4.99/month it’s dead
      gotta keep those share holders happy

      property rights were just a transition phase

      • #90230
        Anonymous
        Guest

        oy vey, you didn’t pay the extra $9.98 for the Extra-Cool Premium Package? I’m afraid I can’t let you use the freezer until you do

    • #90229
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >cyclist cuts me off
      >get mad, call him a scrote
      >infotainment system hears me, forwards the recording to Volkswagen HQ
      >steering wheel locks up
      >autopilot kicks in
      >This vehicle’s manual steering has been remotely deactivated due to an unexpected wrongthink incident, says the sterile female voice of a robotic assistant.
      >Doors lock up, seatbelt tightens up
      >Please remain safely on your seat as your are driven to the nearest police station
      >get 2 year suspended sentence and my Volkswagen-ID that I need to start my car banned
      >Say bad word
      >get b&
      >money stolen
      This is the future you chose.

    • #90232
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >car overhears you using the n word
      >immediately locks the doors and autodrives to the nearest inner city
      >auto rolls down windows so you can take in a diverse culture

    • #90234
      Anonymous
      Guest

      *requires you to log in to start the engine*

      nein personnel, kid

    • #90235
      Anonymous
      Guest

      > cant steer the wheel because you didnt like biden post

    • #90236
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >2030
      >"My car needed to update" will be a valid excuse
      What a time to be alive

    • #90237
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Well now I’m glad I kept my 00s Honda civic instead of trading it for a modern car LOL

      Honda anons report in

      • #90239
        Anonymous
        Guest

        one day you’ll have to replace it anon

        • #90240
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Not him but tell that to all current day Kopeika drivers. Many such cases!

        • #90242
          Anonymous
          Guest

          his great-great grandkids *might* have to replace it

      • #90244
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Not a Honda but I got a twingo that needs a lot of work. But I look at new cars and at the Dacia Sandero because it’s supposedly the same car and I look at how much it would cost to just make the twingo work fine (1500) and it would probably last another four years and then it would need an engine rebuild.
        It’s seriously looking like a better financial choice and I don’t know what to do about it.

      • #90249
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Fuck yeah ’03 civic coupe standard transmission, got a few quircks but hot damn is it reliable and fun to drive.

    • #90247
      Anonymous
      Guest

      should had installed GNU+car.

    • #90254
      Anonymous
      Guest

      scrotes get what they deserve. Also fuck all "fully automatic super Quantum space tech", it’s specifically made for lazy scrotebrained consoomer scrotes.

    • #90256
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Do these car as a service shitboxes have any practical advantage over shitboxes from 40 years ago?

    • #90263
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Just click on "zonder weconnect rijden". It means drive without weconnect.

      • #90264
        Anonymous
        Guest

        maybe he needed navigation, nothing a cellphone can’t fix though

    • #90265
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >Being late to appointments
      UNACCEPTABLE

    • #90268
      Anonymous
      Guest

      No, I have a real car which isn’t an app.

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