The Alexiad

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    • #163895
      Anonymous
      Guest

      The Alexiad
      >Continually comparing her father to Julius Caesar and calling the Normans Celts over and over again
      >Stupid sexy Bohemond
      >Pope said something very naughty and I’m not going to tell you because I’m a lady
      >My dad invented everything ever
      Why was she like this

    • #163896
      Anonymous
      Guest

      why are you singling her out, it’s a normal thing in medieval chronicles

    • #163897
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I imagine her secretely keeping Bohemond printed pillow

      • #163898
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I’m putting that in my historical accounts.

      • #163901
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I need an artist to make a picture of Anna Komnene hugging a Boehmond body pillow

      • #163903
        Anonymous
        Guest

        what’s so odd about it?
        all the contemporary male writers were drooling over Cleopatra too

        • #163905
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >all the contemporary male writers
          Name one you brainlet.

          • #163907
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Whoever Plutarch was using for sources.

            • #163909
              Anonymous
              Guest

              So are you saying Plutarch or do you not have an answer?

              • #163911
                Anonymous
                Guest

                We don’t have their names anymore but it’s obvious they existed.

                • #163912
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >n-no I don’t have evidence
                  >sorry anon
                  >*shrugs idiotically

                  Why does this always happen?

                  • #163913
                    Anonymous
                    Guest

                    How would Plutarch know Cleopatra possessed great physical beauty if he didn’t read such accounts?

                    • #163915
                      Anonymous
                      Guest

                      By making shit up. Are you saying Plutarch was right about everything?

                      • #163917
                        Anonymous
                        Guest

                        Well even if that were true then he himself was drooling over Cleopatra and not his sources. What was the point of this whole freaking argument?

                      • #163919
                        Anonymous
                        Guest

                        To force you to chicken post. You fell right into the classic blunder of historical discussion. If we keep going you will uncontrollably start posting dogs in priest clothes and giant snails waging war on humanity.

                      • #163918
                        Anonymous
                        Guest

                        yes

                      • #163920
                        Anonymous
                        Guest

                        gigachad

                      • #164023
                        Anonymous
                        Guest

                        this

            • #163943
              Anonymous
              Guest

              So Plutarch’s ass?

      • #163934
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Was it a body pillow?

      • #163936
        Anonymous
        Guest
        • #163937
          Anonymous
          Guest

          anna was a redhead?

          • #164001
            Anonymous
            Guest

            self-insert by the author

    • #163899
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >Pope said something very naughty and I’m not going to tell you because I’m a lady
      I want to go back

    • #163900
      Anonymous
      Guest

      They took this from you, now modern women spread their poopyhole open on only fans

    • #163902
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How slutty were Byzantine girls?

      • #163906
        Anonymous
        Guest

        A lot, given they were surrounded by enuchus and byzantine men, Who were more into the ancient greek tradition of boyfreaking. They were desperate for some actuall testosterone-fuelled men

        • #163916
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >They were desperate for some actuall testosterone-fuelled men
          God I wonder what that’s like

        • #163949
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Oh, Byzantine women bonked eunuchs all the time. They preferred it, actually, since it let them have "The flowers of marriage without the fruit".

          • #164011
            Anonymous
            Guest

            how did the eunuchs get hard? I thought that if you get de-nutted as a child, your testosterone production stops meaning you have a permanent baby dick

            • #164012
              Anonymous
              Guest

              You can manage it, it just takes longer to get going
              http://www.mtv.com/news/1836500/game-of-thrones-grey-worm-missandei-sex-eunuch/

              • #164014
                Anonymous
                Guest

                is a MTV article about games of thrones the best source?

                • #164018
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >Why yes, I do get all of history from MTV, how did you know?

              • #164015
                Anonymous
                Guest

                That has to be one of the worst sources i’ve ever seen holy shit

            • #164016
              Anonymous
              Guest

              A whole lot of eating pussy.

      • #163921
        Anonymous
        Guest

        if St. Theodora is anything to go by, extremely slutty

      • #163993
        Anonymous
        Guest

        About as slutty as most women in most places throughout history. For most of the empire’s history women would wear veils to cover their hair and sometimes their face when in public, they generally weren’t supposed to be alone with men they weren’t related to or in a relationship with, and like most premodern women most of their time was spent spinning textiles and looking after young children. Like most peoples in history some of their women engaged in affairs, had premarital sex (it wasn’t uncommon for women to be pregnant when they got married), and were fetishized by and/or looked down upon by certain foreigners.

        • #163994
          Anonymous
          Guest

          I have no idea what it’s called but some G*rm wrote a Rape of Constantinople fanfiction decades before the Fourth Crusade

          • #163995
            Anonymous
            Guest

            Umm link please

            • #163996
              Anonymous
              Guest
              • #163997
                Anonymous
                Guest

                >It’s Byzantium and friends and I haven’t listened to this one yet
                wtf am I doing. I’ve listened to maybe half of these.

              • #163998
                Anonymous
                Guest

                >God, help me fuck the Emperors daughter 100 times in one night. Amen.
                Why are Frankish knights so woke af?

            • #163999
              Anonymous
              Guest
              • #164000
                Anonymous
                Guest

                now imagine he is wearing this and he is going to kill you just like he killed several other armed men you considered big tough guys in your village

              • #164002
                Anonymous
                Guest

                Out to get the Greek girls with his BFC

              • #164008
                Anonymous
                Guest

                During the fourth crusade, the Byzantine women thought the crusaders looked like angels

                • #164013
                  Anonymous
                  Guest

                  >using this propaganda as an example

                  dude this is the equivalent of getting in a fight with someone and telling them "i bonked ur gf" after you lose

      • #164003
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Opened their legs for Franks, Anglo Saxons, Danes, Venetians and Genoese

    • #163904
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >calling the Normans Celts
      Nice, care to tell us more about it ? Quotes and references would be nice.

      • #163908
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >he hasn’t read the Alexiad

        • #163910
          Anonymous
          Guest

          That’s a strong sign he’s not a virgin, so he might make it.

        • #163923
          Anonymous
          Guest

          My knowledge of the Byzantine empire is rather limited.

          • #163924
            Anonymous
            Guest

            why did you even come into this thread

            • #163925
              Anonymous
              Guest

              >you can’t learn about or be curious anything new
              Why do you even exist, have a nice day scrotebrain

      • #163914
        Anonymous
        Guest

        The name of France in Greek is still Gallia(Γαλλία). The word Gallia would also be used alongside Francia in Latin at the time.

      • #163974
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Anna calls lots of peoples by archaic names in her works

        • #163984
          Anonymous
          Guest

          She was a classical era fangirl so it only makes sense.

        • #164017
          Anonymous
          Guest

          woke af, sounds like my sort of girl– i also call black people Negros.

    • #163922
      Anonymous
      Guest

      All women are whores.

      • #163926
        Anonymous
        Guest

        hey that’s my line

      • #163951
        Anonymous
        Guest

        you must have a strange relationship with your mother

    • #163927
      Anonymous
      Guest

      She was a schizo greek slut who didn’t have daddy issues, a bizarre paradox.

    • #163928
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Since Bohemond was nothing but a social climber, I’m pretty he would have been more than happy to marry her. Although I doubt her father would have allowed her to mary a barbarian.

      Although Bohemond did end up marrying the French king’s daughter just because everyone became impressed with the stories of his bravery in the crusade.

      • #163975
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >Although I doubt her father would have allowed her to mary a barbarian.
        Byzantine princesses were married to Hungarian kings all the time

        • #163986
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Magyar had been around for awhile, Normans were upstart newcomers born of mercenary bands in former Byzantine Lands.

          • #164009
            Anonymous
            Guest

            And the Hungarians did not go as far as Greece to plunder their lands as the Normans did in the 11th century.

            Having their alliance can be understood when you have the Petchenegues on your back.

    • #163929
      Anonymous
      Guest

      She also described Bohemond’s father as being handsome

      > “This Robert was a Norman by birth, of obscure origin, with an overbearing character and a thoroughly villainous mind; he was a brave fighter, very cunning in his assaults on the wealth and power of great men; in achieving his aims absolutely inexorable, diverting criticism by incontrovertible argument. He was a man of immense stature, surpassing even the biggest men; he had a ruddy complexion, fair hair, broad shoulders, eyes that all but shot out sparks of fire. In a well-built man one looks for breadth here and slimness there; in him all was admirably well-proportioned and elegant. Thus from head to foot the man was graceful (I have often heard from many witnesses that this was so). Homer remarked of Achilles that when he shouted his hearers had the impression of a multitude in uproar, but Robert’s bellow, so they say, put tens of thousands to flight.”

      • #163940
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Woke af BAP listener

    • #163930
      Anonymous
      Guest

      she was whatever the genderbent version of a momma’s boy is (poppa’s girl?). She adored her father and thought he was the best thing since leavened bread. the entire Alexiad was composed for the purpose of praising her father and telling everyone about how great he was. i don’t think they ever fought over anything and the only possible contention between the two that could’ve existed was the fact tat he didn’t explicitly appoint her as his heir.

      • #163980
        Anonymous
        Guest

        itd be cool to be a fly on the wall for alexios/anna/john interactions. she was so buttmad about her sis but by most accounts hes one of the most stand-up emperors ever

      • #163982
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Daddy’s girl

        • #163983
          Anonymous
          Guest

          thanks for clarifying that, wasn’t sure if that was the proper term, or just something trannies call themselves during ERP.

      • #163985
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Daddy’s little princess (in this case literally lol) or

        Daddy’s girl

      • #163989
        Anonymous
        Guest

        this is literally the only type of book it would’ve been appropriate for her to write

        "no I don’t think I’m a historian that’s a man’s job tee hee I just really love my daddy"

        • #163990
          Anonymous
          Guest

          wholesome!

          • #163991
            Anonymous
            Guest

            she did an obituary at his funeral that was good enough to make up for a f*oid speaking in public

            • #163992
              Anonymous
              Guest

              xoxo

    • #163931
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >tfw no powerful and cute byzantine gf

      • #163932
        Anonymous
        Guest

        be careful what you wish for anon. she’d end-up hen-pecking you to depose her sis and become the emperor yourself(unless you’re actually willing to take the risk and actually do it).

        • #163935
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >she’d end-up hen-pecking you to depose her sis
          Then forcing you to nut in her for an heir then blinding you to ruler herself as a regent for your child

          • #163947
            Anonymous
            Guest

            >Then forcing you to nut in her for an heir then blinding you to ruler herself as a regent for your child

            ha ha wouldn’t that be awful ha ha

      • #163933
        Anonymous
        Guest

        this is how you become a blind eunuch

    • #163941
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I don’t know who she is or her historical significance but I love her.

      • #163944
        Anonymous
        Guest

        she’s Anna Kommena, a Byzantine princess known for writing the Alexiad, a detailed account of the reign of her father, Emperor Alexios.

    • #163942
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Literally only famous because the crusades happened in the one year after she was old enough to get horny but before she got married

      • #163946
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I mean she’s mostly famous for the Alexiad and her dumbass coup.

    • #163945
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Claiming her as my historyfu

    • #163948
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >half the Wikipedia is about gender roles in the Alexiad

      Only a female >academic could read an interesting book about medieval conquests and focus it on how w*men felt during the events

      • #163952
        Anonymous
        Guest

        That’s what I hate about how women authors are treated. It’s patronizing to say that the main value of the writing is in their sex and of course sidelines any actual discussion of the topic.

        • #163953
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Yea I don’t like the attitude either. Nobody looks through Livy’s works for anything like that on such a scale and I’m not sure why it should be treated any differently. The Alexiad is a politically charged history, it’s not going to fit within modern sensibilities, there are some things which do fit but it shouldn’t be some all encompassing idea to analyze her work though.

        • #163955
          Anonymous
          Guest

          This

          The vast majority of material written about Marguerite Porete is by (presumably atheist) women’s studies academics who are only interested in the fact that she was a wahman who got suppressed by men. They have zero interest in WHAT she was saying which is far more interesting

        • #163956
          Anonymous
          Guest

          They are treated this way because they are so rare. If you find a source written by a woman, then you have something far rarer than just a general source from the time period, and so the interesting part will be the author as a woman, instead of the topic they’re writing about. This is true for many other things as well.

        • #163959
          Anonymous
          Guest

          i’ve had the exact same thoughts when learning about Anne Bradstreet and Phillis Wheateley. i could understand treating some of the works of the former because some of them do focus on domestic life from the view of a wife and mother, but all of her work, and Wheately’s too, get treated like this, and it’s completely insulting. it’s even worse with Phillis too, since you got the racial component in addition to the fact that she was a woman. i remember reading some ode from a black female poet (can’t remember her name) from the 60’s, and this bitch had the audacity to shit on Wheateley, in a poem meant to honor her, because she adhered to a neo-classical style which was apparently too white for this fucker. It just pissed me off like nothing else.

        • #163977
          Anonymous
          Guest

          It’s valid in the works of say Jane Austen because it was a big focus of what she wrote along with class issues, but people don’t seem to get that she wasn’t representative of every female author. That’s not to say I don’t like Austen, I think she was a brilliant and witty writer, but she realy did inadvertently poison the well on analyzing the works of female.authors.

    • #163950
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Literally made for Big Latin Cock.

    • #163954
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Please tell me who is the artist?

    • #163957
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Reminder she was an old ugly nun when she wrote this

    • #163958
      Anonymous
      Guest

      She was 14 and he was 43 when he arrived in Constantinople in 1097. Everything she wrote about him, she wrote decades later when she was in her 60s. The Alexiad is political cope/propaganda to explain why the Normans were able to be such an issue for the Byzantines as well as laying foundation justifications as to why they’re actually alright and a good buffer for the Islamic world.

      • #163960
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I’m not sure if the Byzantines thought that. Anna relates the letter that Bohemomd supposedly wrote to her father after the crusades

        > “To you I, Bohemond, famous son of Robert, send this message. The past has taught you and your Empire how formidable are my bravery and my opposition. When I turn the scales of fortune, as God is my witness I will not leave unavenged the evils done to me in the past. Ever since I took Antioch on my march through Roman territory and with my spear enslaved the whole of Syria, I have had my fill of misery because of you and your army; my hopes, one after another, have been dashed; I have been thrust into a thousand misfortunes and a thousand barbarian wars. But now it is different. I want you to know that, although I was “dead”, I have come back to life again; I have escaped your clutches. In the guise of a dead man I have avoided every eye, every hand, every plan. And now I live, I move, I breathe the air, and from this island of Corfu I send to Your Majesty offensive, hateful news. It will not make very pleasant reading for you. I have handed over the city of Antioch to my nephew Tancred, leaving him as a worthy adversary for your generals. I myself will go to my own country. As far as you and your friends are concerned, I am a corpse; but to myself and my friends it is manifest that I am a living man, plotting a diabolical end for you. In order to throw into tumult the Roman world which you rule, I who was alive became “dead”; now I who “died” am alive. If I reach the mainland of Italy and cast eyes on the Lombards and all the Latins and the Germans and our own Franks, men full of martial valour, then with many a murder I will make your cities and your provinces run with blood, until I set up my spear in Byzantium itself.” Such was the extreme bombast in which the barbarian exulted.

    • #163961
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >>Stupid sexy Bohemond
      Remainder she wrote Alexiad in a convent at the age of 80. So, meming her as a horny teenager is very r*ddit.

      • #163962
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >what is titanic

        • #163967
          Anonymous
          Guest

          kek

      • #163964
        Anonymous
        Guest

        That just makes Bohemond an even bigger chad

    • #163963
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Is she really talking about bohemond when talking about the blonde knights ? I mean if I search up bohemond he comes up as having black hair

      • #164005
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >19th century paintings portray reality
        the absolute state of this board

    • #163965
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >ywn have a cute, intelligent, haughty and properly filial Byzantine princess GF

      • #163966
        Anonymous
        Guest

        A man can dream. Wonder what she would smell like.

    • #163968
      Anonymous
      Guest

      anna komnene was probably really ugly

    • #163970
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I want Anna….

      • #163971
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Me too.

    • #163973
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I love her so much bros I have never fallen for waifu shit in my life but bros…

      • #163976
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Same, anon…

    • #163987
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I love her so much.

    • #164004
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How to have sex with Byzantine princess?

      • #164006
        Anonymous
        Guest

        You don’t

    • #164010
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I could have fixed her

      • #164019
        Anonymous
        Guest

        what is there to fix? she already sounds perfect

        • #164020
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Proper deposition of her sis

    • #164021
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I’m in love

    • #164022
      Anonymous
      Guest

      my wife

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