More than friends plus long distance

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      My ex-buff introduced my ex with her friend. I was cheated by my ex and backstabber by ex-buff at the same time, 3 years ago. I was broken. I cried every night. I was afraid. I couldn’t believe anyone. I started to avoid love, both rs and new friends. I couldn’t trust any boy and I’m afraid to get attached.

      2 years later, I met a guy because of one common friend. We became friends. We hangout a lot. I had so much fun because of him. I started to trust him. I told him about my past, I could open up him. He’s studying at Singapore. So after 1 months, he went back to sg. After that some other friends told me that he likes me, he interested me. I don’t want to get attached so I pushed him but he didn’t give up on me. He cared me, called me every night. We facetimed every night for 6H. We texted the whole day. He told to my friend that he’s gonna propose me when he come back. I feel saved, feel loved.

      But 4 months later he cut the contact because of his family problems. He came back but he avoided me, and acted like strangers.

      We met again after 8 months. We acted like nothing was happened. We teased, we laughed like best friends and then he went back again. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we texted but only once a month.

      Me and my friends went to sg last week. I met him in sg. We went to club at the 1st night. He and I, yes we hold hands and hug in the club that night. I stayed in sg for 10 days, and we met about 5 days. When we were in sg, he told my friend that he still loves me, he has been love me for 1 year and 3 months, he couldn’t tell me because of his family problems. Then he tried to proposed me but couldn’t. During those 10 days, we fell in love. I trusted him and I stopped pushing him. And I decided to get into relationship.

      And then I came back. We facetimed, we called but this time both of us acted like couple. Then he tried to avoid me again and it’s been 3 days that we didn’t talk. What should I do? I thought he’s the one but he did again. We couldn’t act like friends but we are not couple either. He said he’ll come back next month. Should I just wait him? Or what should I do?

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2 thoughts on “More than friends plus long distance”

  1. I can relate to a lot of this, I am currently seeing a guy who is a commitment-phobe (oh what a pair we make).

    he’s at least aware of his issue and has admitted it time and time again, I am not going to go out of my way to assist him in beating this fear because I feel that he uses it as a shield to hide behind and one day he will eventually come to terms with his own problem and look for a way to solve it.

    he works FIFO so I only see him once a week for a couple days as he goes overseas for his holiday then comes back and I see him for a couple hours before he goes back to work for another month.

    he’s made it no secret that he plans to leave and go back home to the UK in a few months and then go travelling through europe for a few months and see a few other countries too which is great I am happy for him but I refuse to feel vulnerable and let my self feel anything remotely romantic for this guy because I know its not going to go anywhere even though he claims he wants to move to my state from the other side of the country I just refuse to believe anything he says because that means letting go and inviting feelings in for me to just get hurt over when he meets someone else and moves on.

    I know I need to see professional help.

    I hope you get the answers you seek

  2. As a philophobic who has faced long distance relationships all I can tell you is that it is really hard to engage in something like that. My now ex-bff spent his summers in another city in the other side of the country and for me those 3 months felt like a torture. It wasn’t something I could control but I started to detache from him as a way to protect myself, and just started to avoid him. Every time he went I tried to break up with him because of the fear I felt when he was away, but he always kept talking to me and sometimes we agreed to give us time, mostly for me, to calm things down. Try to talk to him and ask him how is he dealing with the situation, it might be something he doesn’t realize he is doing and remind him you are there but don’t overwhelm him. 🙂