I’m so sorry

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      I’m so sorry that I began to fall for you (a bit less graceful than you did for me.) I’m sorry that you repulsed me. I’m sorry that I don’t have any answers and that maybe you’ll never understand or forgive me. I’m sorry that I’ve ruined every relationship I’ve tried to had.

      That one night when I saw you looking at me completely lovesick made me want to punch you. I hate that I felt that way. I hate that I only let myself love you when it was obviously too late.

      I don’t know why I can’t stand being loved- I haven’t had a traumatic childhood. I have had death of loved one but this pattern started before that. I wish you could understand.

      I wish I could too. I wish I could move on from whatever this is and we’d be happy again and continue to make art together.

      Are there answers and is there a way out?

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1 thought on “I’m so sorry”

  1. I’m not quite a philophobe, but I do have my share of phobias. I have also fallen in love with a philophobe.

    Well, at least I think I have, it is damn hard to tell how she really feels.

    Regardless, you need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself if you want to move on and overcome it. Forgive yourself even if you think that you never will.

    Forgive yourself, and be happy. You didn’t choose to be the way that you are; nobody has much control over how they love or who they love.

    Saying “I’m so sorry” is just silly. It will get you nowhere.

    I do love someone, and I can tell you that whoever it is that loves you would never want you to be unhappy. That person might really understand. Hell, they could be reading this site right now, and trying to figure it all out. Either way, I’m sure they forgive you.

    I have certainly forgiven my philophobe, but I do miss her.

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