When I first started dating people I was around 15 and my first girlfriend was 13, me and her lasted for a year even though she was an online girlfriend, she broke up with me and said she thought she was in love with someone else so I just let her go and since she was my first girlfriend I will admit I was unreasonably upset about it so much that I cried for 3 days. After her I have had 4 other girlfriends also whom where online and eventually the final one I broke up with because she did not seem to take our relationship to heart since she was the flirty type and flirted with other guys behind my back until I caught her one day.
Now I am 18 and I have not dated anyone or even tried any relationships in 3 long years going onto 4 since my birthday will be this month. I did have one girl who seemed to really like me and also had a crush on me possibly who I was talking to on an online website where you can find friends, it seems that once I noticed little thing that may of pointed to the fact that she liked me in a romantic way, I noticed I seemed to become more distant to her and ended up having an issue with "being in the mood to talk to her" and then eventually I just stopped thinking about her all together and have not spoken to her since.
This story is why I feel that I may be philophobic, since I wish I had a girlfriends, but every time the chance comes my way I turn away and run from it with my tail between my legs like a wimp, I wish I could get help with this but I am not sure where to turn, I also am unsure if I even have this phobia. I will admit one thing that does go through my mind and cause me to run from it is that I seem to worry the most about them breaking up with me even though I love them a lot...
Anyone help please?