i used to force myself to cycle around when i'm losing it and the serotonin bump really does help for a while but when your depression is backed by actual issues it's kinda hard to stay off it
feel like i have to go to shrink soon and just get on the drugs or something
I lost the normal function of my arm and leg and now live with chronic pain in those limbs. In addition I lost my job and was forced to move back in with family, the pain and sedentary lifestyle are making my schooling way harder. I feel like such a broken leech piece of shit my life wasn't great before getting injured but overall I was so hopeful and full of youthful energy which I desperately miss. I don't want to live like this anymore but I don't want to die. I'm so tired...
yes. i feel like theres a universe somewhere, where didn't just fuck everything up and actually made it, and i just happen to live in the one where the worst possible outcome will happen. everything just keeps pushing me to the brink of death, it all just looks like a sign that im meant to die here, and there is no alternative. it feels like a videogame with different endings and im on the branch where i kill myself, and it feels okay since somewhere out there i am happy. or maybe there is only one, and im just miserable.
If you get caught you take it to trial you hear. You tell them you were a 28 year old virgin like a boss. Better rehearse. Yes I'm implying you might not get caught. You might consider it later who knows.
We are the same person. Also 28 in December. It's not that I have nothing in my case, it's just that I'm mediocre and don't have that inner determination and gumption to fight for life and so I don't consider myself worthy of human life.
Just put my childhood dog down on Sunday, my only real friend in my entire life. I'd never been instantly overwhelmed by despair until that day. I thought collapsing and ugly crying as an immediate reaction was only a thing in movies, I've always felt the sadness coming on beforehand, I've mentally prepared myself for years for that moment, but I was fucking shameless in that office. That's it. My only responsibility, the only thing I lived for, the only one to ever unconditionally love me is gone and even another pet will never be like her. I honestly don't care about leaving my family behind. I got out of bed every day to take care of her. I had very little before, now I have nothing. I've been spiraling all year, but I really don't think I'm making it to next year. I'm waiting for the impulse to hit me hard enough one of these nights.
ever since i was 15 years old couldn't see another choice. there have been short periods of times I started enjoying life but those were short lived. two years ago it got to a unlivable point and i somehow managed to close my mind off for two whole years. those two years were literally "feelingless", didnt feel bad neither good. recently its getting worse and worse again. im thinking about ending it all before summer starts but am not fully convinced yet.
I've lost absolutely everything started cutting for fun and to see how easy it is and drinking myself into the hospital I'm gonna make a wax slug and an hero if possible
Yes. In the same way you can feel a depressive episode coming on. Like the slow feeling of dread you get when you think about someone else's life, that leads inevitably to wanting to die.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll go crazy before I do it. I really do.
No, I wish I were. I've been in the same spot of wanting to do it but being too afraid since I was a teenager. So I just continue wasting away in my bedroom.
I never thought I'd be one of those people that kill themselves but I can feel it now. I can't do anything anymore, no distractions work for me. Movies, Vidya, anime, I can't focus or care for any of it. I spend my days laying in bed staring at the wall daydreaming and suffering from these rolling migraines with no particular cause. I feel nothing but misery. The only time I feel something is when I think of dying and it's this mix between nervousness and excitement, it makes my heart race and it calls to me. I turn 20 in a month, everyone has left me behind I haven't spoken to anyone in 3 years and my mind is permanently fucked from the crippling loneliness. I searched up my old oneitis and she's engaged, everyone I knew is doing well. I'm going to kms, I'm really going to be one of those guys and honestly I'm happy about it. I'm sick of this existence.
I'm a failed normie who was only able to attract a toxic mess of a woman
I can't live with this bitch anymore and I'm not spending the next 30 some odd years of my life alone. I'm gonna wait til after Christmas so I don't ruin my family's Christmas then I'm checking out
I hope God forgives me but yes, not particularly every day, but every once in a while, the thought lingers hard in my mind, however my father sacrificed a lot in his life for me and my brother, he went through some real shit, had to escape a war, had to build money from nothing, etc, he means the world to me and just from him and God alone I could never pull the trigger. Because of corona and some unforeseen bullshit that happened now I've been lonely for the past 3 years I have no one to truly talk to, I try my best to help and listen to others but no one truly reciprocitates, I daydream of love and managing my own businesses but I'm held back by my internet/pc addiction since over a decade, I have several health issues, eyes are -3.5, ears are fucked up, spine is twisted to the left, im pretty sure I have adhd, and just recently I got a shoulder injury which has fucked up my workout progress, one of the few things I was looking forward to. School sucks balls and work is not so bad but its a rather toxic environment and shit just sucks there. So all I can do is just read some books at most, meditate sometimes and study when I can but even those are drying out fast
i'm always at the fucking EDGE of suicide, i even already planned and already have resources to plan suicide methods
because i have no future nor nothing to live for, i'm absolute waste of human life with useless education and i'm suffering from horrible health issues, i'm this close, i'm at the edge of suicide
Do you have a consistent exercise routine? I would recommend that you run for at least 30 minutes every day. That is what got rid of my depression.
why the fuck are you still here then homosexual
leave then
i used to force myself to cycle around when i'm losing it and the serotonin bump really does help for a while but when your depression is backed by actual issues it's kinda hard to stay off it
feel like i have to go to shrink soon and just get on the drugs or something
No... I can feel myself growing farther from suicide. Why would I do that? I'm in it for the long run
Im giving myself 2 more years and if life isnt better Im ending it
pathetic anon.
Im pretty sure my gf doesn't love me anymore
The only reason I'm not killing myself tonight is that I'm on duty for 12 hours tomorrow and don't want to leave the ER short staffed.
nope. not at all.
origanoly
I was thinking of that fucking dog when I read her stupid bib thing lmao
Yup. More and more as time goes by.
i don't wanna be alive but i don't wanna die
suffering
I lost the normal function of my arm and leg and now live with chronic pain in those limbs. In addition I lost my job and was forced to move back in with family, the pain and sedentary lifestyle are making my schooling way harder. I feel like such a broken leech piece of shit my life wasn't great before getting injured but overall I was so hopeful and full of youthful energy which I desperately miss. I don't want to live like this anymore but I don't want to die. I'm so tired...
whenever i let my thoughts wander they always end up at the point of suicide
yes. i feel like theres a universe somewhere, where didn't just fuck everything up and actually made it, and i just happen to live in the one where the worst possible outcome will happen. everything just keeps pushing me to the brink of death, it all just looks like a sign that im meant to die here, and there is no alternative. it feels like a videogame with different endings and im on the branch where i kill myself, and it feels okay since somewhere out there i am happy. or maybe there is only one, and im just miserable.
I am close. Very close. My 28th is soon. In December. I refuse to turn 28 and have nothing.
That must be tough. Even discuck discriminates against oldfags. You have LULZ p much oof.
Doesn't matter. I'm done. I have a gun..
Go and rape a woman what do you have to lose. Go to a bathroom at a gas station.
Not worth it. Oh well
If you get caught you take it to trial you hear. You tell them you were a 28 year old virgin like a boss. Better rehearse. Yes I'm implying you might not get caught. You might consider it later who knows.
We are the same person. Also 28 in December. It's not that I have nothing in my case, it's just that I'm mediocre and don't have that inner determination and gumption to fight for life and so I don't consider myself worthy of human life.
Just put my childhood dog down on Sunday, my only real friend in my entire life. I'd never been instantly overwhelmed by despair until that day. I thought collapsing and ugly crying as an immediate reaction was only a thing in movies, I've always felt the sadness coming on beforehand, I've mentally prepared myself for years for that moment, but I was fucking shameless in that office. That's it. My only responsibility, the only thing I lived for, the only one to ever unconditionally love me is gone and even another pet will never be like her. I honestly don't care about leaving my family behind. I got out of bed every day to take care of her. I had very little before, now I have nothing. I've been spiraling all year, but I really don't think I'm making it to next year. I'm waiting for the impulse to hit me hard enough one of these nights.
It's just a seasonal thing, I've been going through this for the past 6-8 years? Maybe more? I just need to take some Vitamin D and I'll be okay.
>I just need to take some Vitamin D and I'll be okay.
I tried 5,000 IU daily, no change
I feel myself coming closer and closer to death, but I don't believe in suicide due to spiritual reasons.
No but I can feel myself getting closer to pussy while you seethe and dilate 😉
ever since i was 15 years old couldn't see another choice. there have been short periods of times I started enjoying life but those were short lived. two years ago it got to a unlivable point and i somehow managed to close my mind off for two whole years. those two years were literally "feelingless", didnt feel bad neither good. recently its getting worse and worse again. im thinking about ending it all before summer starts but am not fully convinced yet.
I've lost absolutely everything started cutting for fun and to see how easy it is and drinking myself into the hospital I'm gonna make a wax slug and an hero if possible
reminder if you have gf/friends/money you don't get to be suicidal or even depresed andd should be mocked and bullied instead
Yes. In the same way you can feel a depressive episode coming on. Like the slow feeling of dread you get when you think about someone else's life, that leads inevitably to wanting to die.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll go crazy before I do it. I really do.
No, I wish I were. I've been in the same spot of wanting to do it but being too afraid since I was a teenager. So I just continue wasting away in my bedroom.
I never thought I'd be one of those people that kill themselves but I can feel it now. I can't do anything anymore, no distractions work for me. Movies, Vidya, anime, I can't focus or care for any of it. I spend my days laying in bed staring at the wall daydreaming and suffering from these rolling migraines with no particular cause. I feel nothing but misery. The only time I feel something is when I think of dying and it's this mix between nervousness and excitement, it makes my heart race and it calls to me. I turn 20 in a month, everyone has left me behind I haven't spoken to anyone in 3 years and my mind is permanently fucked from the crippling loneliness. I searched up my old oneitis and she's engaged, everyone I knew is doing well. I'm going to kms, I'm really going to be one of those guys and honestly I'm happy about it. I'm sick of this existence.
I'm a failed normie who was only able to attract a toxic mess of a woman
I can't live with this bitch anymore and I'm not spending the next 30 some odd years of my life alone. I'm gonna wait til after Christmas so I don't ruin my family's Christmas then I'm checking out
No, mom would be sad
i don't want to be alive anon
but i don't think i am ready to kill myself
I almost did once, wrote up a will and all that
Already to the point where i'm standing in front of the noose but i chickened out
I hope God forgives me but yes, not particularly every day, but every once in a while, the thought lingers hard in my mind, however my father sacrificed a lot in his life for me and my brother, he went through some real shit, had to escape a war, had to build money from nothing, etc, he means the world to me and just from him and God alone I could never pull the trigger. Because of corona and some unforeseen bullshit that happened now I've been lonely for the past 3 years I have no one to truly talk to, I try my best to help and listen to others but no one truly reciprocitates, I daydream of love and managing my own businesses but I'm held back by my internet/pc addiction since over a decade, I have several health issues, eyes are -3.5, ears are fucked up, spine is twisted to the left, im pretty sure I have adhd, and just recently I got a shoulder injury which has fucked up my workout progress, one of the few things I was looking forward to. School sucks balls and work is not so bad but its a rather toxic environment and shit just sucks there. So all I can do is just read some books at most, meditate sometimes and study when I can but even those are drying out fast
I'm kinda close but been a lot closer. It'll probably work out, just gotta go with the flow
i'm always at the fucking EDGE of suicide, i even already planned and already have resources to plan suicide methods
because i have no future nor nothing to live for, i'm absolute waste of human life with useless education and i'm suffering from horrible health issues, i'm this close, i'm at the edge of suicide
I think about it every single day, but my brain is so shit that I can't do it. I wish I could reprogram my mind.