I can't remember how many times I tried to convince myself that love was just an addictive illusion, so I would put me out of my misery (created by myself). I've been pushing myself slowly into isolation from the human race. Just day dreaming about finding someone who would love and help me learn how to love. Just wishing that I was not afraid of falling in love.
And its all my own fault. I gave myself the idea that love never lasts and that it's incredibly stupid to even try because there is no possible way not to break your heart.