LULZ / TV & Film

>best pro athlete in the world is allowed to be in the triwizard

>best pro athlete in the world is allowed to be in the triwizard
yeah i'm real fucking sure the San Diego Padres would let their $400m investment play in the death olympics

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's a matter of honor, something you clearly lack

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    BIG missed opportunity that they didn't have Harry face off against this guy in a quidditch match and see Harry to the distance against the pro MVP seeker.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Aren't world cup players on dragon ball bullshit levels of speed?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I vaguely remember something that the magic binoculars harry buys are on a slower speed so he gets suprised when the announcer said someone scored and he just saw the first pass

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What the fuck are you on RN there is no magic binoculars.
            Is this a bit guys?

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Omnioculars were the wizarding equivalent of Muggle binoculars, but with the additional features of being able to magically slow down and replay action.[1]
              have you read the books?

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                This is the television and film board, no one has any idea what you're talking about but you.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        their global population is probably like 10k doubt there's much difference between the school teams and professional players really

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          this, Oliver Wood was objective dogshit who let in 10 goals per game and even he was a reserve keeper for some pro team

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            there's several british professional teams yet there's only four house teams, don't know how old a player could realistically be but since hogwarts is the only british wizarding school they probably take anyone from the school teams into the professional teams
            any rowling twitter posts about hogwarts having more students than we think or whatever doesn't count she could have had one or two throw away lines about a few other smaller wizarding schools and she never did

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah it's probably like "professional" ultimate frisbee players

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you forgot to factor in magic brooms which seems to be the main factor in speed

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah it's probably like "professional" ultimate frisbee players

          What a dumb assumption.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >fly after a thing on a broom speed of which is determined by how much money you have
      >catch said thing
      >match is over, insta win
      wtf
      Imagine buying tickets to this shit and someone catches the snitch in the first 5 min

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I think snitch catches are supposed to be super rare, but the movies give a distorted picture of that because we only see the games where Harry gets the snitch, making it seem like that occurs every game not once in every 50.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I train martial arts with this Bulgarian guy and although he's nice enough, he is the dumbest motherfucker I have ever met in my life. Like if LULZ was a person. Is that representative of the nation at large?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, can confirm. We are beyond retardation, we should have never left our villages in the first place.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why, what did he say?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        he was whining about muslims and garden gnomes all the time

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Kek, might've been an actual LULZtard. But nah wouldn't say everyone is like this, especially zoomies, they don't care.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sounds based and correct. Maybe you were the homosexual all along.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        not me

        he was whining about muslims and garden gnomes all the time

        If he had a problem with Muslims and garden gnomes then he'd be based. In actuality he's an unironic flat earther who loves Angela Merkel.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds based
      you sound like a homosexual

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      upvoted for visibility!

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >viktor kroom
    terfs only in this bread

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They're an advanced culture. Not everyone thinks like a fucking nose-person in terms of only money.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I train martial arts with this Bulgarian guy and although he's nice enough, he is the dumbest motherfucker I have ever met in my life. Like if LULZ was a person. Is that representative of the nation at large?

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What happens if your name gets picked and you refuse to play? Does the goblet just kill you?
    Also, why would Dumbledore put up a spell to keep people of a certain age from inserting their name, but let someone put in another person’s name against their will?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      implied it does because it's a magical contract which sounds cool but isn't explored much in the books. weird how that makes it really easy to forge people's signatures on magical documents so long as you haves something they actually signed

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dumbledore just didn't have a contingency plan for there being a mole in the school.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Literally every defense of the dark arts teacher

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I said he didn't have one, not he shouldn't have one.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >What happens if your name gets picked and you refuse to play? Does the goblet just kill you?
      You put your own name in there so that isn't an issue, usually.
      >Also, why would Dumbledore put up a spell to keep people of a certain age from inserting their name, but let someone put in another person’s name against their will?
      You had to be old enough to do it and no reasonable adult would ever do that so he probably didn't consider he'd need that

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Old enough to do it meant 17+ and I know plenty of 20 year olds that would have thrown in some 13 year old's name as a lark. Imagine how many racists there would have been throwing in the names of non-white students. Or students they hate. Harry Potter's name would've been thrown in by half the Slytherin 7th years because they were convinced he'd fail it or die. Voldemort didn't need a mole at all.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i think it's more like in the triwizard tournament you could potentially die, just like anyone who regularly participates in the winter olympics could fall and break their fucking neck while snowboarding or get crushed by a bobsled.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    *Every girl watching gets soaked when those tubas/horns start blaring*

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    can you stop a man who can kill you at will with a stick

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Well they let their $340 million investment fool around on a motorcycle in the offseason and destroy his wrist

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I thought "no motorcycles" was normally part of contracts and they would have gotten out of it on those grounds if he really fucked himself up.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    t. SEETHING little dork mad cos he got mogged by the Chad again, even in fiction
    MANY
    SUCH
    CASES
    !!!

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you will never touch hermione's pussy, harry

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Chands win even in incel books
    what the F*CK did Rowling mean by this???

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      in the book he isn't a chad cedric is

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        how the fuck is not the most successful school athlete in the world not a gigachad, retard?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Because he plays a stupid sport like Quidditch. It’s like Rowling had never played any sports before or something.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >sport like Quidditch
            thats like the football of the mage world, bro is basically Christiano Ronaldo

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Disingenuous comparison since penaldo will never sniff a world cup final

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is what Viktor Krum looks like today. Feel old yet?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Wtf is he a real professional quittich player IRL?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      why is he wearing spiderman pants?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's a Chad thing, you wouldn't get it.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      like a gigachad?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >gigachad
        >5'8

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          well, the main hero in the series like 5'2 so he moggs him

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      imagine being Hermione and choosing ugly abusive toxic cuck Weasley over this chad

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        why are women like this? why the fuck do I even bother trying to be the "good guy"...?!?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This happens only in books and movies. IRL she will be all over Viktor's dick

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      hot as fuck

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    considering most schools usually have 2 or 3 different sports, what would be the alternative to quidditch?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Blernsball

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      maybe they just played cricket or something
      making everything have some sort of magical gimmick wouldn't really make sense in a realistic setting

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >england
        >cricket
        makes sense

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      all-female naked love potion crafting/kissing league

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There's gobstones but that's more like a game than a sport, and there's quodpot but they don't play that at Hogwarts

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Swivenhodge was a broom game that began in Herefordshire, England. Players would sit backwards on their broomsticks and bat an inflated pig's bladder across a hedge using the brush end of the broom. The player to miss the bladder gave their opponent a point, and the first player to reach fifty points was the winner. Swivenhodge was still played in England, but never achieved widespread popularity
      >Creaothceann was a broom game that originated in Scotland, typically regarded as a highly dangerous sport.Despite its ban, Creaothceann was still played illegally in the 21st century.
      Probably the first one and that magic chess are played but not as popular in howarts than quidditch. Football/soccer could be also played by people with nonwizzard parents
      The true answer is that JKR didn't tough about that.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Mumblebumpies where limp wristed homos flick pillows at each other with magic

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >HEHE LETS GO SEE THE WORLD CUP
    >the WHOLE match is OFFSCREEN
    what'd they mean by this

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    San Diego fag

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Am I remembering the book wrong or was krum supposed to be vaguely autistic and unable to do much else than riding broom

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      no, he just barely spoke english and was shy so he couldn't invite hermione to the dance

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He was just ESL and barely spoke English.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, you're not

      no, he just barely spoke english and was shy so he couldn't invite hermione to the dance

      He was just ESL and barely spoke English.

      Don't you remember the bit where it says he walks oddly and awkwardly on the ground, juxtaopositoned against how graceful he was in the air? If memory serves it said his eyebrows were always angry looking and his shoulders hunched up.

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Durmstrang’s breakdancing team needed Krum to come along so they could to pull off that cool entrance with the pyrotechnics in front of the other schools.

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    *does some dumb shit with a staff*
    Everyone was still impressed. Guys were chads.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      can YOU do some dumb shit with a staff...?!?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        In the world of wizarding I feel like bostaff skills would be like that scene from Indiana Jones when Indy just caps the guy doing deadly techniques with a scimitar.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          why? they are all a bunch of limp wrists waving around their gay wands, staff skills seem too much for them

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe a wizard wielding a staff like that as his wand would kick fucking ass, deflect anything and spam spells from weird directions.
            Then again they seem to have an "auto deflect" spell that gives them a sphere of coverage because they always deflect shit with the flick of a wrist no matter where they're gonna get hit.
            Idk.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              thats lotr, harry potter was literally made for complete beta losers

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >18 years old
    >Dates 14 year old Hermione

    Groomer movie.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >seniors aren't allowed to date freshman
      since when?

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >VIKTOR DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE the San Diego Padres asked calmly

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      lol

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Yes, can confirm. We are beyond retardation, we should have never left our villages in the first place.

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine Ron the loser being with Hermione knowing she will always be dreaming about Viktor's big cock (and successful life)

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Tatis will go down as the biggest waste of money in MLB history… literally had never played a full season and is now hurt and isn’t healing right. They had him for SIX YEARS before they had to pay him anything. Makes no sense.

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >best pro athlete in the world is still in high school
    Can't be that hard to find new ones then

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wgat does it feel like to see a chad be the first to kiss/fuck your virgin crush?

  29. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >best pro athlete in the world
    >on the san diego padres
    I don't know what any of this thread is supposed to mean but I'm gonna go ahead and say it: OP is a homosexual.

  30. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    lmao bro of all possible examples you used the San Diego Padres???

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