This is biz related
My mum rang me to say my
Car is having its transmission relaxed because she was so fat my old small car couldn’t drive her up a hill in 4th gear.
My problem is this is costing me serious money.
How do you plan to look after your parents as they get old?
Should their money be in a trust ? Should they live in my house ? What should I do?
my advice is to have shitty parents that you couldn't wait to separate yourself from once becoming an adult and moving out of the house
worked for me
haven't spoken to them in years
see
I cant wait for my parents to die, even if inheritance is $50, i'll be stoked.
Thank God my mother kinda has her shit together. She has close to 6 figures in her 401k, will get a pension from work during retirement, and plans on working until she pays off the $150k remaining on her mortgage (though I might pay it as a surprise).
lol I almost cut off my parents 7-8 years ago when it seemed like they were trying to milk me for money. The never did anything particularly bad to me. I'm just greedy and have avoidant attachment in relationships.
sucks to hear. I hope you have a better relationship with your own children in the future and can build a strong family together
When my 'rents are elderly I plan on letting them live with me because I'm not sociopathic
you dont know how it is you dumb retard, being old is not wholesome like in your movies, they get demented, violent, they piss and shit all ovr and break stuff, they need a lot of attention and you want that by 2? for god knows how many years, you will rope
If you arn't willing to look after your family when they are vulnerable then you are a disgusting human.
Yes it can be hard, but this is an important struggle to endure.
listed kid I looked after my ma for 15 years after she got slighly demented, she was overweight and sick, I had sometimes to lift a 100 kg women from the floor because she fell down while I was at work, two instances she ws about to burn down the house because somehow like a kid she found a lighter or matches, she once threw all her stuff out the window because dementia makes you do stuff like that, on other occasion she threw hot water at me, it was not nice and I loved her, I endured that just because I TRULY loved her, had to send her to an old fols home after a while by court law, they deemed I couldnt look after her well enough since I worked and she had to spend 8 or more hours alone, I have no siblings and no extended family around or willing, and old folks homes are expensive and awful you just dont know what is there for you you just have no idea thats why you idealize it as a virtue, its the most you will work in your life ever so better have a big set of balls or you will fold
That's nice, but have you considered the possibility that you are not equipped to handle someone with Stage 4 Alzheimer's Disease? That you will need to hire professional caregivers to the tune of $20k/month if you want to keep your parent living at home and not at a nursing facility? This is not an option for most people.
It's because you've never experienced it. Talk is cheap bitch
Yes I looked after my father every day until he died, i changed him washed him clothed him cooked for him i would make sure every container in the house was light enough for him to lift every single morning i sort his medication every day i change his soiled sheets
have you considered that maybe you are just a bunch of homosexuals looking for an excuse to not support the people who brought you into this world
yes it can be hard but that is the mantle of the child.
>i would make sure every container in the house was light enough for him to lift
>Making your dying father lift containers
ISHYGDDT
he wants to make his own coffee, he very was ill for about 8 years. its important that he felt some agency.
>letting your dying father handle boiling water
Sounds like your dad was not demented, in which case you have no idea what caring for a demented elder is like, as myself and other anons have pointed out.
sounds like you shouldnt make assumptions to rationalise your decisions.
The rationale is that caring for an elder with a major neurocognitive disorder is different from caring for an elder with other health problems.
I've seen elders with severe health problems who still remain cognitively intact. Comparing a non-ambulatory and frail, but cognitively sound, elder is not comparable to taking care of an ambulatory and physically robust elder who is severely demented.
Yes I am mad.
Same thing with my dad he went into a deep depression after he could no longer drive so I tried to make sure he had as much independence and agency as his health allowed. I didn't treat him like the dying old man that he was I tried to maintain as much of his dignity that I could.
Shut up already you fag
No, you.
change bandages
sterilise wounds
tackle every thing around the house
schedule doctors and nurses visits
deal with deliveries of oxygen
manage medication from pharmacies
perform correspondence with hospitals
stop bailiffs
clean clothe cook and provide for the man who supported me who through no fault of his own deteriorated.
if you wont do that for your parents then you are a dog
One could make a case for it being a bigger mercy to pull the plug instead of prolonging a deteriorated quarter-existence.
Also, if you really had to choose between investing in your parents on their way out and your kids, you wouldn't be typing this syrupy bullshit.
one could make the case that not providing for your elderly parents makes you a dog and your rationalisation is something you will deal with for the rest of your life.
cope seethe and dilate as i tell you the truth you do not wish to hear.
You will face reality soon anon enjoy living in fantasy value signal land on the meanwhile
facing what reality? my parents are dead for years. but it doesnt matter does it, you will rationalise and justify your selfish actions any way you can.
every single thing you have posted, is something i have also dealt with - with the exception of looking for ways to not have to do the job.
you disgusting fucking dog.
I already said I did my job you dumb nagger
this is disgusting and degrading for all parties involved, if I ever get even remotely close so that point I will ensure I am not a burden for anyone and that I am not trapped in my own body. Everyone who doesn't do that is a coward
Uhh I watched my relative take care of my grandparents full time for almost 10 years. She got maybe 4 hours of sleep a night if she was lucky. If she didn't own her own business then it wouldn't have even been possible for her to get away with that shit. She used to wipe their asses and change their diapers. She had no life. It was literally just work and take care of them. She will die childless and loveless because of that decision. This isn't your only incarnation. Just let it go and let nature take its course. The big redpill is that any life extension outside of physical exercise and natural remedies is evil That's how life is supposed to be.
I've done a lot for my parents. And, this goes for OP too. More so my father then my mother. At 12 years old I started my first intervention on my father for heavy intravenous drug use. It's been a long struggle. I've lived with my Dad since he had a major relapse when I was 28. Used over 75k in one year to do drugs minus about $400 a month for rent. When he left to go get clean, I had to stop him from selling my PC by arriving just in time to see someone walking down the street with it. he sold my brand new $1500 PC for $25. The next morning when he left. 'I shit you not' he stole my mother fucking close. To go start his clean new life. I year later I moved to his location. Lost over $12k or more paying rent and bills that weren't mine getting his addiction under control. If I hadn't have gone he'd have died from throat cancer. I was literally tub-feeding him when he had lost the strength to do it on his own. About 12 years later. he smokes about a lb of weed a month I get for about $300-600 and sleeps in the living room of my one-bedroom apartment. And, I don't regret any of it. The best thing I ever did was save my father. After everything I've been through he's the only one who actually stuck around, and had my back. I've got none of my ol'friends. No one to depend on but myself as a man should I guess. And, the love of my health 65 year old father. If it ever comes to having to wipe his ass though he's going in a home.
I can deal with it. lol.
It's all what you make it. Anon, OP.
>I've got none of my ol'friends
probably because of your choices regarding your father. Who would want to be around such a fucking loser as you have described?
Well, it might be part of the life choices they've made. Like, drug use, alcohol abuse, 5 different kids from 4 different mothers, always painting me into corners, never having any free time, nor money to do anything anymore because of all that. I mean I nearly saved the world once, do whatever I want all day... and am free travel the world if I want.
But, sure... I am the loser. 'It's me'. I will be the problem if it makes you feel any better.
But, I rather stay away from a bunch of druggy doushe bags who will constantly try to fuck my partners, and convince people around me to do drugs. And, know it doesn't matter to them if I could beat them into an inch of their life because well they're on fucking drugs. And, don't think. Lots of them are dead by the way... You guessed it drug.
So, why don't you go jerk off to fucking Hentai while I go to Japan?
plebs I sware.
>I am the loser
no, read my post again. Its your dad who is the loser, not you anon
>The big redpill is that any life extension outside of physical exercise and natural remedies is evil
fact
>The best thing I ever did was save my father
youre so mind fucked
If you think so Anon. I can tell you one thing. I made more change in this world before my 20th birthday than most people do in there entire lives. If fact the change was so massive it effected billions of lives and the entire globe.
Whatever pathetic little selfish achievements you think you are fulfilling to consider yourself successful are meaningless unless they make life better for someone else.
I could die tomorrow and feel life life this world and did my best to successfully make it a better place.
You're gonna 'red pill' no nut November and still contemplating your selfworth. Trying not to nut to Andrew Tate quotes. We are not the same.
Leave the matrix homosexual...
Women get the ick when a guy sneezes. Imagine going over to his place and his demented mom is running around the house naked with shit all over her fingers. Women can't go one day in their own lives without breaking shit or needing a guy to rescue them. Imagine what happens when their parents can't drive or show up to their appointments correctly anymore? People are in for a world of nightmares. It is going to be incredible and this isn't even taking into account the enormous financial costs associated with all of this.
I am 32 and I let my homeless mother live in my flat. Due to her spending habits, I had to pitch in to cover some serious expenses. She gave me some of the money back because she has a wfh job. She's got just 4 months before she retires. As soon as she does I have to give her an ultimatum: either pay me $15,000 due to her smoking and food expenditures (she's also obese) or GTFO from my apartment. Because she is still working from home and can do so even after 65, she will keep generating some profit. But I made it clear that if she needs me to pitch in - I will ask for everything back plus interest. I have a strong leverage on her that: 1) she has nowhere else to live; and 2) she's an immigrant, so without me filing for her residence she won't be able to stay in the country.
Secretly, I really wish she would just fuck off and die. Hopefully, due to her lifestyle she's in either for a heart attack, hemorrhage or sleep suffocation (she snores like hell). Ever since I let her stay at my flat in 2020, she's been an insufferable cunt. She keeps doing things that I keep telling her not to do. She ignores my warnings but it's also my fault that I don't punish her for her crap.
>they get demented, violent, they piss and shit all ovr and break stuff
this is exactly how it is. Old people are absolute nightmare to deal with. I had to send my mother to a neurology ward once. You get to see a lot of this shit there. Just ask any nurse who had to deal with a neurology patient. It's basically the modern mental asylum.
>If you arn't willing to look after your family when they are vulnerable then you are a disgusting human.
You have no idea what you're talking about anon. When you do this, you have no space for your own life left. No time to marry and have kids. Not even time to invite a girl to your house. Old people don't have decency to leave you alone. Why should you be decent to them then?
City hall probably has a senior affairs office. Visit them - they know every program to assist seniors - utility subsidies, senior housing, transportation programs, food programs / meals on wheels. Of course you need to be low income for most of these programs, but you never know what available unless you ask.
Some programs, like transportation assistance, are based on disability not income.
This is a great financial topic
Investing in cheap supplements like activated charcoal and iodine can save us countless $ in future medical bills and improve our parents lives
>Car is having its transmission relaxed
the fuck are you talking about?
she blew the transmission cause she's too fat?
if you can't climb in 4th/OD/top gear you just drop a gear... how can any manual car driver not know that?
iodine is cool, charcoal is cool, i use both sometimes
but they aren't going to help with a lifetime of poor health decisions and consequent obesity, cardio/pulmonary/vascular disease, diabetes, neurological degeneration, etc.
>but they aren't going to help with a lifetime of poor health decisions and consequent obesity, cardio/pulmonary/vascular disease, diabetes, neurological degeneration, etc.
Yes they will. You do need to increase dosage as needed. You should have them do an essential elements and minerals test. Also get them on holistic or traditional medicine heavy metal and parasite detox
The laws will depend on where you're from, but generally speaking, your folks need to set up an estate plan (e.g., trust, will, power of attorney etc.) ASAP.
Regardless of the particular laws in your jurisdiction, it is likely at least one of your parents will become demented before they die. Long term elder care is expensive and you want to make sure paying for it is as simple as possible. There is also always the possibility of demented elders getting scammed.
Get your folks to execute an estate plan while they are still competent. Seriously.
If my parents were still alive, I would do anything I could to improve their QoL and make as close a bond with them as I could.
But its easy to say these things in hindsight, its easy to take them for granted.
If you get to see your parents die, you should rejoice because this is the better order of operations. It is their job to leave before you do and you will have the same duty to provide and protect your children.
>If my parents were still alive, I would do anything I could to improve their QoL
yeah its easy to say shit like this because your parents are dead
>It is their job to leave before you do and you will have the same duty to provide and protect your children
Problem is the boomers don't leave, and instead parasitize their children, often making it impossible for them to have children of their own. It's a selective defect, any bloodline where the elderly don't put the next generation first and gracefully bow out, will be outcompeted by those that do. Social Darwinism will strongly prioritise the families where the elderly make a point of not burdening their children and dying quickly once their minds and bodies start to go.
I want to support my parents as they age but my parasitic brother won't move our of their house and I refuse to take him in.
Its really depressing because i lived my whole life tending to my mom and now that im getting older its harder and harder to do it because she can work but she's just taken my assistance for granted. I made 20k on VINU purely by dcaa last week and i wanted to change my car with some savings i had but instead i had to give every single penny to my mom because she broke her arm falling out of the shower. Its distressing
SIR PLS KYS
Has anyone looked into retirement community type things in Asia or some place? I was looking a few years ago at one in Thailand seems like it would be a whole lot better than an American one both financially and treatment wise.
my parents are old. father is 81 and mother is 76. I live with my father. he is too old to live by himself and wouldn't want to live in a nursing home. (I'm also against it. unless you hate your parents you don't want them abused and robbed by west indian nurses.) my parents are divorced and are complete opposites when it comes to finances. my mother has very little saved for retirement and tends to spend freely. my father saved a lot and is very frugal, to the point that he lives in a really run down house (though in a nice area). aside from temporarily loaning my mother money on a few occasions, they haven't been a real financial burden for me.
my parents are boomers and they fell for the propaganda about "reverse home mortgages" and "leaving their wealth behind to charities instead of their kids" bc "the younger generations dont know what to do with money"
i have sincere hopes they die sooner rather than later.
the Me Generation is why the world is so fucked up now.
and their pride kills me. thinking they are the last of the "real men" is disgusting.
even in their 60s they view younger guys as sexual competition as they saunter into Hooters to harass the teenage waitresses.
its fucking disgusting.
>betting on the right crypto altcoins is the ONLY way any millennial or zoomer right now will EVER become independently wealthy.
and the bull market is 2025.
I'm 35, been back at home for a couple years to help take care of my granddad who is severely in Alzheimer's and fast moving leukemia. The stress of taking care of him has made my mom try to be healthier and she's talked to me about what to do if they ever get to that point. I worry about it every day, but it's a kind of weird relief that you know that they know it's a possibility. like we've already made our peace if it happens. Just talk to your parents OP.
Urine therapy reverses Alzheimer’s and eradicates leukemia
I love my parents and we live we each other.
t. 41 y.o. and parents 75 and 84
*with each other
How old was your mom when your dad got her
Fuck em. Sold out the older generations for theirs.
If your mom is that tucking fat then she won't be around much longer so don't worry too much about it.
My parents threatened to put me on the street so I had to join the military. I'm patiently waiting to put them on the street when they're old and broke. Karma boomers.
>>My mum rang me to say my
Car is having its transmission relaxed because she was so fat my old small car couldn’t drive her up a hill in 4th gear.
Omfg stop I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
I believe that taking care of your parents shouldn't be at the expense of your financial wellbeing and other aspects of life. They lived their life and they should let you live yours.
This is exactly how I see it too anon. My dad had said he wants me to move in with him(would make me a full time caretaker) but I asked him what would he have told his father at 35 if he wanted to move in with him. Got nothing but silence.
My parents are divorced. Both took the vax. My father is a heavy smoker and is always stressed out. I don't think either will live long in old age. But if they did I would take care of them. Never had a gf so I'm pretty sure I will never have a family of my own and will die alone.
I went home to be with my dad on hospice at my childhood home and sent him off to the other side. My mom's alone now so I try to fly out every other month or so to help out. She's got family around her and gets out okay. Eventually some of her health problems are going to catch up but I don't know how it'll manifest.
I love my parents
I'm sorry you guys don't
my mom and dad are my only friends, i'm going to be so lonely eventually. it really scares me
I’m sorry anon. You should go to church. Find one that is full of nice people.
Yea, I just basically got my family too. Mainly just my Dad. I've been pretty comfortable being alone though. I actually enjoy it most of the time. I got my room and it's huge I got my entire battle station. I am comfortable in myself. I can connect with people online. I always enjoyed going to movies by myself, and don't mind dinner by myself.
But, I also go to church. I am a Morman but not a very good Morman. I drink coffee regularly and occasionally drink in celebration.
I mean technically, if I drank ice coffee it wouldn't break the words of wisdom. But, the people I meet at church are always wonderful, and the girl you meet a wholesome, and moral. And, any good man should actually want that for themselves. No one really, likes a slag or a gutter slut, town bicycle or bar betty who doesn't have any respect for you or themselves. Church is a great place western society is starting to lose what church actually is supposed to be.
Mormonism is heresy. Convert to Catholicism.
Catholicism, is hoarding wealth, killing babies, greedy and uncharitable.
We are building the real church of Jesus Christ what we don't use for the Worsip and Spread of the Gospel we send around the world to every reach of the globe for all of gods people to be relieved of struggle around the world. We fast at least on Sunday each month sometimes more, and give that lone it in self to easy the suffering of the world in our own free offering to donate to the world. Let a lone our monthly tithing which majority does the same. While continuing to bring souls to the celestial kingdom of heaven. A live and far long past. It is your choice to do well for humanity. Be a better Church I say. In Jesus' Name I pray.
Amen.
No go out and help an old lady cross the street or something... do chores for you Mom or something.... heathen.
all religion is a cuck cope
What cope?
Lots of texts would lead the world to believe that death is possibly the worst thing that could possibly happen to you. Especially, if you quote 'sold your soul'.
I just know I am going to do the best for me and everyone around me. While I am still here. The real problem is I know 'God' is real.
It's a long story but when I died once I met him. And, along the way... I met his companion and arch nemesis I kid you not, Anon.
I've rarely ever done anything valuable for myself. Most of the time what I do is for other people.
Cope however you choose...
It's just what cope do you think I am trying to cope for?
>asking for financial advice on biz
are you fucking retard? shill your shitcoin or GTFO
My mom doesn't drive anymore. I handle her finances, TV, Internet and phone. They're as cheap as they can possibly be for what she needs so she still has some money left over for buying goodwill bullshit and crap on the internet to keep her happy until she dies.
If you're 20 something and reading this, yep, you'll have to have that talk with your mom one day too.
Fucking Right Anon... Take care of that, Mom. You only got one.
Because they were fucking obsessed with live fast materalism most of them. And, they had parents from the great depression and war time era who taught us to live like a king on a little. I'll never understand it. Boomers and their fucking obsession with 20 million cars, thinking rich people care if you eat on paper plates, constantly worried about bullshit of other people think about what they might be doing, clue irresponsible spending, the fuck you need a werly gig for something a knife can do let alone 20 werly gigs that do what a knife does.
No, I get it. Sadly, Sorry for the missconspection, Anon.
My Dad is only a loser when he does hard drugs. But, what you don't know. Is he was the type of Dad to always read me bedtime stories want to toss the baseball around and teach me things. And, the only person in my life 'who always believed in me'. Always telling me 'you can do it' talking about how smart I am etc... an unwavering person cheering in my corner every step of the way.
he's my best friend, Anon.
And, I love him. To no end.
Well, you have a right I guess to compensate your expenses try to take it easy on her though. But, you are right. Living costs money and stupid expensive habits like smoking.
Not, letting you have your piece of mind or privacy come at a cost.
I actually had quiet a few relationships a long my way, I dated Avril Lavigne... and Taylor Swift. She wrote at least 3 songs about me. We actually really hit it off on LULZ, when I was gonna an hero, but I met her before that. LULZ brought us together, and our insecurities and the thought of distance for 9 months every year broke us apart.
I am sure they will both make excellent wifes for someone someday. But, it is sad to become a grown man without any kids or known relationship with a life long partner in crime or companion seek it out. Nothing stops love.
Boomers literally had life on easy mode.
How can you possibly fuck up this bad, where you could get a job and pay for a house within 3 years, and pretty much live the life of your dreams?
I got no sympathy for these Boomers. How the fuck they expecting us to take care of them, when they literally fucked the economy, and didn't make hay when the sun was shining.
Any boomer who didnt capitalize on the greatest and most prosperous economy in the history of the world deserves what they got if they didnt plan for retirement properly
Including your fat cunt mother.
Buy your mother a gym membership and tell her you'll only fix the car if she goes 3 times per week for at least an hour.
are you American?
if your parents own their home, or other assets that may be passed down, those asset should definitely be in a trust. this will prevent Medicare from placing a lien on those assets in the event that your parents die. this happens all the time. person dies, and the govt takes ownership of the home to pay down the debts. family gets nothing.
These assets must be in the trust for 5 years or more, or Medicare will take those assets anyway. so get this set up before things are looking dire.
1. Fuck boomers, i'll make them suffer, i'll feed them heavily oxidized grease and caramelized corn syrup
2. If she's so fat a 4th geared truck can't handle her then make her lose weight and you will save in food and doctors for fat people