I have Philophobia. My grandma and my mom both married an abusive alcoholic. The only thing is that they weren't abusive and/or an alcoholic until after they were married. I'm afraid that I'll fall in love with someone that'll only end up to be abusive and an alcoholic. I feel like since it happened to my mom and grandma then it'll most likely happen to me too. So I end up pushing everyone away yet, I long for someone I can just be happy with.