We are in what can only be called The Age of Movie Reboots and Remakes, with Ghostbusters, RoboCop, and all the upcoming a bunch of Disney movies being remade. But instead of complaining and asking Hollywood to take more risks and give us more original storytelling (we’ll leave THAT job to Netflix I guess), let’s take a moment to embrace this trend and celebrate some kick-ass ’90s movies that would be even better if remade with a diverse all-female all-BIPOC cast.
Encino Man is one of the most underrated movies of the ’90s, and it’s all Pauly Shore’s fault for being too damn Pauly Shore in it. A rebooted Encino Man would be hilarious, because modern time BIPOC cavewoman would have to learn not only how to read, drive, and BS her way through high school like the character did in the original, she’d also have to learn how to use a smartphone, manage her social media accounts, and navigate her way through a world filled with gun-loving Republicans trying to mow down minorities.
This one deserves a reboot because while The Craft was a pretty good movie, it has the potential to be a pretty f*cking great movie with a BIPOC cast. And it should be made by the guy who made The Witch because DAMN THAT SH*T WAS SCARY.
Now And Then
I would dare to call Now and Then a near-classic, but with all these all-male casts getting rebooted with all-female casts (like Ghostbusters and Ocean’s Eleven), why not recreate a Now and Then movie with an all BIPOC cast? An all Jennifer Lawrence cast? An all albino cat named Larry cast? (I’m just spit-balling here/assuming these are the actual conversations that happen in Hollywood).
Can’t Hardly Wait
Can’t Hardly Wait was the quintessential “it all happened on one night” teen comedy that depicted every “type” of high schooler (from the asshole jock to the angry nerd to the lovesick to the prematurely balding Ethan Embry) as a deep, multi-dimensional human being. A Can’t Hardly Wait remake could represent the world’s ’90s babies and their tropes (from the basic bitch to the bro to the lovesick to the prematurely balding Tom Hiddleston), and do the same, but for female BIPOCs.
This one really feels like a no-brainer — sci-fi is the genre that keeps on giving, and it’s also the easiest type of movie to get rebooted because all a producer has to do is get a new sexy cast and a fancy CGI upgrade and a studio will 100 percent agree to do it. And Starship Troopers is the perfect movie to be rebooted: while it’s not quite an untouchable classic, it still has a cult following that could get excited about an updated BIPOC version, and new audiences can always get behind a solid alien invasion thriller. Imagine an all-female military squad facing down a horde of pale insectoids trying to murder them for being Black, and then nuking them all. Plot twist: the insectoids were bred by the GOP.
What ’90s movie do you want to see get a reboot? (Note: I’ve discovered in this process that there are only 3 kinds of ’90s movies: Classic, God-awful, and Made-to-Be-Remade-Once-The-Technology-Catches-Up-With-The-Storytelling.)