5 year hrt boymoder. Feeling pathetic. Feeling like each day i get uglier and worse looking

5 year hrt boymoder
Feeling pathetic
Feeling like each day i get uglier and worse looking
Fucked up my life with a bad degree
And cutting off my nuts
Now a demented heshe freak who misses bein on discord and playing osrs and fnv all say
Now i work and dont have freetime
And i stress and overthink when i am free
And generally hate my life
Dont wanna sui bc im not stupid but fuck bros the dysphoria is bad
Im...broken. i hate it all. I wish i could be 13 again id do so much different
Hell even 18
In 5 years ive fucked up and idk
I just
Idek
Didnt articulate myself well
Im sad im not a girl and im too lazy and scared and anxious to do anything about it

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ps pls post sad mtf images here

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous
        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous
          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous
          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Literally me except I'm a boy and not trans

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >*sigh* i wish i could wear GIRLY clothes and look like a GIRL and be a CUTE like a GIRL and enjoy GIRLY things
              >totally cis tho

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Hahahah
                Noo, I meant the guy/girl just vibing with herself alone while looking at the mirror going back home

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Source?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This would be spot on if not for the erroneous assertion that estrogen is expensive. I have a hard time believing this was drawn by a cis 'phobe

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            right? every time i see it that still irks me to no end
            it's one of the easiest tells whether it's made by a complete retard or not

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous
        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous
          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous
            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous
              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                bump

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                wtf

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Wow, I though about this post some days ago.
                I really hope OP is ok 🙁

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                i would be a solid amount that they have killed themselves, but 2021 is a little recent. if it was pre-2020 i'd be certain they have

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                i would bet* fuck man i keep making typos today

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                God I hope she didn't
                I prefer to think she had the courage to come out and now lives her ideal life as a tgirl

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                For whatever its worth I remember seeing some reply one time it was posted, allegedly from her. Apparently she's okay, think her family was at least not horrible about it. I hope that's true.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I really hope it too

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                This always hit me so hard, fuck.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                i tear up literally every time i see it
                the way its phrased is so desperate

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Checked but also damn it's really been two years since that post

              • 3 weeks ago
                Theymabfoder

                tfw you saw that post get made and you're still here 🙁

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Checked but also damn it's really been two years since that post

                yea
                literally nothing has changed in that time
                what the fuck is the point of living like this

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >so much younger
                >literally 3 years younger
                nagger fuck off, thats normal.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                that image and picrel make me so sad

              • 3 weeks ago
                camo maid

                asuka vibes 🙁

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            i tried this but my family made me eat normally after 6 months lol

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              it's still your fault for not continuing, don't think you're exempt because you let your family ruin it

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you're right. i also failed to diy orchi at 12. i was in the hospital when my grandparents died, i could have cut them off and flushed them down a toilet

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          wow he literally me :/

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Bet that ass is on point

            • 3 weeks ago
              mcboymoder

              mfer i said hes me cause of what it said, "he has little to no curves and looks malnourished" most of that image applies to me tbh

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                looks like a fuckable piece of meat

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            cute 🙂

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Literally me

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      oh wow oh wow oh wow

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        nah soul is eternal you will be a woman forever

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Holy shit this makes me feel so much better as a transitioned at 18 passoid

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Rank 1 Boymoder

    >Didnt articulate myself well
    i think you did well, and im sorry, i can very empathize with it all especially
    >Im sad im not a girl and im too lazy and scared and anxious to do anything about it
    not necessarily a sad mtf image, but definitely adjacent and this one is my favorite.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      btw hi rank hope ur still chill n sexy n shit

      • 3 weeks ago
        Rank 1 Boymoder

        >chill n sexy
        maybe one of those : )

        tfw you saw that post get made and you're still here 🙁

        >tfw you saw that post get made and you're still here 🙁
        fml
        i saw that and thought "wait thats only like.. a year or something
        ... its been over two years... holy fuck and i've been here much longer than 2021...
        i just checked.. i've got a screenshot from 2019 new years here, and its definitely longer than that

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          stfu ur sexy in my head

          2021 was when i was most active now i just sporadically pop in every few months against my better judgement
          living in the real world ain’t so bad all things considered, would recommend
          being a little more disconnected has been a pretty positive change in general too, makes time on the computor feel a bit like the old days again

          • 3 weeks ago
            Rank 1 Boymoder

            i wish i could leave this place and just, be anywhere else
            but this place is all i have. its literally the only "social media" i use, and the only trans place i have to talk at

            and i'm already terminally online and a shut in 🙁

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              i mean, do you really need social media? this place gets exhausting if you’re on it all the time. you’re better off socializing through some team based vidya or MMO than here if making irl friends is not an option, normie social medias are marginally better than here i wouldn’t bother

              • 3 weeks ago
                Rank 1 Boymoder

                yeah i need something, mostly for the trans community than anything else
                i have a few discord friends i talk to frequently but im not out to anyone, so i kinda have to stay anon
                i also talk to people in games sometimes, but again i need somewhere for trans stuff or it just festers in my mind

                [...]
                on the topic of MMOs, there’s plenty of gays/trannies on FFXIV if you can pay the subscription, the paywall probably keeps the community from enshittifying too
                just join an lgbt guild and have fun

                ffxiv is really fun, but unfortunately the paywall keeps me out too

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                i guess social media is little more than noise to me and i’ve found that my mind is quieter when i’m not actively engaged be it twitter or (especially) this board, my transness i’ve more or less shoved into the back of my mind after involuntarily detransing. the only way i vent it is through a hookup i see occasionally and to my friends when we’re incredibly sloshed. one way or another you’ll have to learn to live with yourself, can’t rely on a shitty crutch forever.
                some people i’ve met through vidya have been pretty genuine. plenty of legbutts nowadays too if you know where to look. seriously i know it’s hard but try to wean yourself off, you’re literally always here. log off. go frolick in a field. i promise you’ll be better for it.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Rank 1 Boymoder

                yeah i just don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff, coming out to people will just make me feel worse too because everyone will be like "woah no way, i had no idea" despite me being like 4 years on hrt or something
                plus, coming out while just being in permamanmode seems pointless

                thats why i come here. i get to talk about being trans and maybe, if only for a moment, be seen as something that isnt just a guy for once. its the only place i get that

              • 3 weeks ago
                evil.eye

                >the only place i get that

                that was gut wrenching anon

              • 3 weeks ago
                Rank 1 Boymoder

                sometimes it be like that : )

                consider voice training, maybe tuning a voice mod to push you the whole way if you can’t do it then hopping on vrchat or something?

                i've been trying to voice train but i just cant, i dont understand it at all. my muscles just dont work, i've tried listening to videos explaining it but it makes no sense

                plus, i live with family so talking in a girl voice would be difficult, especially in vrchat

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you really just gotta get a feel for it yourself, i have the deepest voice you can imagine and still managed to eek out a somewhat passable tranny voice albeit with a lot of strain, didn’t keep at it though

                i’m sure there is voice changing software that’s good enough nowadays, or thinking up some wacky AI TTS setup and piping it into your input. a lot of effort but it could be fun to figure out.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Rank 1 Boymoder

                >i’m sure there is voice changing software that’s good enough nowadays
                yeah there are ones that work, i got a youtube video recommended to me that explained how
                but idk, im not social enough for the intensity of live conversation, and it still doesn't help me with having a place to talk about trans stuff

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you do you, just throwing shit out there
                see ya around

              • 3 weeks ago
                Rank 1 Boymoder

                yeah sorry, i know i just come off as a dismissive asshole when i do that
                its difficult for me since i've just kinda given up hope, i just wanted to apologize

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                move out
                >muh job
                figure something out. it will be worth it, living with others is hell when you're like what you are

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                consider voice training, maybe tuning a voice mod to push you the whole way if you can’t do it then hopping on vrchat or something?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              i mean, do you really need social media? this place gets exhausting if you’re on it all the time. you’re better off socializing through some team based vidya or MMO than here if making irl friends is not an option, normie social medias are marginally better than here i wouldn’t bother

              on the topic of MMOs, there’s plenty of gays/trannies on FFXIV if you can pay the subscription, the paywall probably keeps the community from enshittifying too
              just join an lgbt guild and have fun

    • 3 weeks ago
      camo maid

      holy shit that image is fucking rough

      • 3 weeks ago
        Rank 1 Boymoder

        She just like me fr

        born to electric type
        forced to ghost/fairy 🙁

        i want a mimikyu plushie now

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Same
          Another plushie to add to my collection yay

          • 3 weeks ago
            Rank 1 Boymoder

            depressingly comfy.
            [...]
            same. i just wanna give them love and make sure theyre happy and loved..just that image alone was enough to make me want to keep one safe just so they know theyre cherished. thats just my broken bird syndrome acting up for a pokemon tho

            tttt plush fund when??
            >i just wanna give them love and make sure theyre happy and loved..just that image alone was enough to make me want to keep one safe
            same! i have a pikachu plush that has a small rip under his arm, and when i saw it in the store i thought for a moment and knew i needed to save him because he might be rejected by others for it

            this thread's depressing

            >this thread's depressing
            no problem : )

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      She just like me fr

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >came out to family like an idiot
    >lost hrt and been off it for nearly 2 years
    >mental breakdown in the process
    >degree is in limbo
    >lifelong health problems now worse or dealing with new ones to the point where i can’t hold down the shittiest of part time jobs
    >no shot at passing anyway
    it could be so much worse OP
    most days i spend trying to figure out a good sui method or going through the same motions expecting different results
    even opening this board was a mistake now ive snapped out of the delusion i was caught up in

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      oh yeah image
      not mtf related i guess but is literally me

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you're hot I'll fix you

    Cis man

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >If you're hot
      i love lookism thanks for reminding me im genuiney worthless because im ugly anon

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I only subscribe to looking cause I believe there's usually something you can do to do better.

        We may not admit it but I think most of us want something subjectively attractive to wake up next to

        You're probably not that ugly, but you can't get out of your head. Your worth isn't determined by others, and you'll never be happy until you learn to value yourself.

        Rewatch Evangelion or something

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Lookism** not "looking"

          autocorrect got me like

    • 3 weeks ago
      mcboymoder

      im so scared to interact with boys at bars because of this, some twink called me cute but im too autistic to so anything/think im gonna mess up cause im a kissless virgin

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >coming up on 6 years hrt
    >dad still exclusively misgenders and deadnames me despite being nice to me and generally supportive
    >still exclusively wear boy clothes at work
    Guh

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I would love a castrated failed male boymoder who plays osrs. You should move in and be my housewife.

    t. lonely rich chaser

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah you have to be trolling

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    would dick you down

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    is CAFEBEEF here?
    You were better as a dude,

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this thread's depressing

    • 3 weeks ago
      camo maid

      depressingly comfy.

      [...]
      born to electric type
      forced to ghost/fairy 🙁

      i want a mimikyu plushie now

      same. i just wanna give them love and make sure theyre happy and loved..just that image alone was enough to make me want to keep one safe just so they know theyre cherished. thats just my broken bird syndrome acting up for a pokemon tho

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *