4th year of HRT - still no passing

I came out as gay at 11 and trans at 12 but could only start HRT at 20 because of circumstances. Now at 24 I am 191cm | 6”3, my shoulders are 52cm biacrominal (female average is 36), huge ribcage, super masculine skull, super long torso, one of the worst maxillas ever, simply permafucked.

Even after 4 years of HRT (and yes good levels too) I simply still don’t pass. I can see that people try their best to call me a woman but this is not the life I want to live. I’m considering detransitioning every so often and dating women to become “normal”.
Anyone else tried detransitioning because they didn’t pass? Did you retransition later or are you happier now? I will always keep supporting LGBT people regardless of what happens

  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [machine noises]

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    lmao

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      chud moment

  3. 4 weeks ago
    CEO of AUTOGYNEPHILIA, INC.

    Well you don't pass so it over. There is nothing that can be done about it so the only option is to just be miserable forever.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes but HOW am I going to be the least miserable

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Don’t detransition, as in don’t stop HRT, it won’t work, you’ll retroon. But socially do what you want, I’m in a similar boat, I just live as an older femfag with tits, you have a lot of flexibility in terms of clothes and whatnot. I’m 6’1 and people are really kind to me, especially women. That being said, I don’t care about being a man or a woman socially, both options are whatever, I don’t feel particularly attached to either, so technically I’m kinda enby.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This is what I’ve been doing on and off since transition but only been succesful at it around the 6th month of HRT. Being a femfag made me really happy but I just look like a trans women no matter what I do even when I go full masc. i just have this brutal male skull with female face adiposity that looks WEIRD. I wish I could have been feminine in my natural state and just leave it at that.

      Depends on whether you think the dysphoria from detransitioning is worse than the awkwardness of not passing.
      You get to choose between suffering as a repper or suffering as a non-passer.
      Simply choose, with thought, the lesser one.

      That being said:
      1. Either way you can still be successful and happy either way, this is only a fractional part of your life. You can still do great things and be an enviable person.
      2. Double triple check that you're not just being paranoid about not passing. The WORST person to tell whether you pass is yourself. Check with friends you trust.

      Before transition the only thing that kept me alive was the hope I had that I could live my truth one day, and that’s simply shattered. Truth is, I don’t know what the lesser evil is right now. I will still pursue FFS though and keep my long hair because feminine men are hot af. For my passing though… I sometimes get laughed at, people h-she me and the numbers don’t lie, I will always be an outlier in terms of height and strong build, and I simply do not seem to attract men, only women.
      Thank both of you so much for the responses

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Statistically, you'll probably hate detransitioning more, at least that's the trend.
        If that's the case then the only direction to go is forward. Keep working on your transition, it's not like it's going to get worse, it can only get better.
        Also, develop other aspects of your life that aren't about transition, make it proportionally less important to your identity.

        Finally, if you really do never pass, how are you going to emotionally process that? Can you envision a version of yourself who's ok with that? If your only options are people politely but not naturally treating you like a woman, or people naturally treating you like a man, which will you take? Is there a way to make option #1 more bearable?
        Maybe view it as "I have become as feminine and close to my ideal self as it is currently possible for me to become, through great effort. The gap is now purely because of genetics, bad luck, and a lack of scientific development". That makes it seem like something to actually be proud of!
        As the great Picard once said, "It is possible to play a perfect game and still lose. That is not failure, that is life"

        (also, the standards for passing get lower as you get older, you may actually look MORE feminine than your menopausal friends)

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I’ve always told myself, but also other tranners that were struggling that it does get better every day. I just aged very badly and don’t have the youth anymore to offset the masculinity. My biggest fear is being a social outcast forever that has to be scared when walking outside. I do have a lot of hobbies and I consider myself “succesful” but its just impossible to put trans in the background when someone harasses you for it.
          Other than that, I am proud of the shit I did survive and that I at least tried my best.

          Just be a femfag, don’t focus too much on being a tranny. I sometimes wear a tanktop without a bra and when asked about this stuff, I playfully say “I’m just very VeRy gaeh” and people let it slide.

          Thanks anon, the idea of being my true self personality and emotionally wise while not caring about the social stuff seems wonderful. If this shit doesn’t work out, this is going to be my future.

          honestly seems super fucked. If theres a way for you to feel happy without being a woman, then try to lean into that. I know people say you're born trans/gay/etc but imo sexuality is also fluid to a certain degree, so maybe you can feel fulfilled being with a girl/guy without looking fem. Just don't go full john 50

          I hope you can be the girl you deserved to be in your next life anon.

          Thank you too anon :>. May we all reincarnate in a better life next time

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Good luck, nonny <3

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Just be a femfag, don’t focus too much on being a tranny. I sometimes wear a tanktop without a bra and when asked about this stuff, I playfully say “I’m just very VeRy gaeh” and people let it slide.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Should not be possible to look trans if you go full masc, you either have never really mascmaxed or are delusional. Sadly you need to bind your tits though.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          People can literally tell. Like I said it’s the facial fat and the inherent mannerism thats just suspicious on a man I guess

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Depends on whether you think the dysphoria from detransitioning is worse than the awkwardness of not passing.
    You get to choose between suffering as a repper or suffering as a non-passer.
    Simply choose, with thought, the lesser one.

    That being said:
    1. Either way you can still be successful and happy either way, this is only a fractional part of your life. You can still do great things and be an enviable person.
    2. Double triple check that you're not just being paranoid about not passing. The WORST person to tell whether you pass is yourself. Check with friends you trust.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    future wife

    sounds like you need to look into additional gender affirming treatment to hrt.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >my shoulders are 52cm biacrominal
    physically impossible, you're just measuring it wrong like 99% of people

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      maybe they meant bideltoid?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        then they wouldn't say the average for females is 36

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          thats true. yea most people cant measure for shit. though idk how you fuck up so bad that youd add on like 10cm+.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    honestly seems super fucked. If theres a way for you to feel happy without being a woman, then try to lean into that. I know people say you're born trans/gay/etc but imo sexuality is also fluid to a certain degree, so maybe you can feel fulfilled being with a girl/guy without looking fem. Just don't go full john 50

    I hope you can be the girl you deserved to be in your next life anon.

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Go st4t

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've been taking HRT for 4 years and people don't even realise I'm trans lmao
    My family are totally clueless

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